* Your children do not need to rule your life.
This might seem harsh, but if you do not take time for yourself and your partner, the children will rule your life.  Everyone needs time to unwind and have fun, and your relationship needs its own time or it will falter. You must make sure you schedule the time for each other.

* Your children don’t need to go on every vacation.
Many couples think that once they have children, they must only have family vacations.  This is not true.  Family vacations are important, but so are vacations with your partner.  Leaving your kids at grandma’s for a long weekend is perfectly OK, and may be just what you need to keep the close bond in your love relationship.  The kids will most likely be happy to stay at grandma’s house and the two of you will enjoy the quiet time alone.

* Talk about the things that drew you together.
When you do take the time to talk with your partner, it does not always have to be about the kids.  Talk about things you used to talk about before you had children — your common interests or hobbies.  There was something you enjoyed talking about and something that made your companionship strong before the children came along.  Go back to those times now and then to keep from making your relationship all about the children.

* Flirt.
The idea that flirting stops when the children arrive is also a myth.  Flirting is fun, and even with children around it can be done tactfully.  Some public displays of affection show kids what a loving relationships looks like.  If the children are young, it is even easier to flirt with your partner.

* Keep your bedroom as your romantic getaway.
Keep the children and their belongings out of your bedroom.  Having the kids sleep in your bed will kill your love life quicker than anything else, and having their stuff around won’t help you get into a mood for romance.  Instead, display items that the two of you shared together.  Pictures of the two of you are a nice reminder of your relationship and how it has grown.

* Set aside time to be alone.
This goes beyond just taking time together for vacations.  It is about both of you making an effort to be together, whether eating together or taking a walk together instead of one person watching TV while the other works on the computer.

After the children are in bed should be your time together, if possible.  A lot of couples clean the house after the children are in bed — the key is to do it together.  It is a chance to talk and  communicate your thoughts and feelings.

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