Success

Your self-acceptance score sets your “personal allowance” for how much happiness, success and love is possible and how much is “too good to be true.” Your allowance determines how much good fortune you can identify with before you start telling yourself “good things like this don’t happen to people like me.” As your self-acceptance score increases, the more good fortune you will allow yourself to notice, accept and enjoy.

When your self-acceptance score is low, you tend to forget that abundance is natural, and you start to believe that good fortune has to be deserved, earned and paid for. When good things happen to you, you feel guilty, anxious and afraid, because deep down you believe something deeply illegal or blasphemous has happened. You quickly set about “paying the bill” by making sacrifices, working harder, apologizing everywhere, pushing away love, rejecting the joy and sabotaging the success. Thus, for as long as you do not accept yourself, you will always want more than you let yourself have.

Exercise: Self-acceptance feels so good that you should try it at least once in your life! At the deepest level, self-acceptance is the awareness that you are what you seek. The love you hope to find in the world is what you are made of, and the happiness you are searching for is your true nature. Today, be willing to accept the idea that love is here because you are here, and happiness is here because you are here, and hope is here because you are here. Affirm to yourself, “I am what I seek.”

Relationship: I feel connected, and not alone.

To feel truly abundant for the rest of your life, do this one thing first: Give up all sense of separateness. Despite how it looks or how you may feel right now, you are not a separate self, you are not an island, and you are not alone. As you let go of thoughts of separateness—described by scientist Albert Einstein as “optical delusions”—your perception changes, and so, too, does your experience of the world. Once you were lost, and now you are found. Grace is at hand. Inspiration is here. All manner of help and support is available to you.

Exercise: If you want more energy, more inspiration, more creativity, more aliveness, more joy, you have to connect. First connect with yourself. Failure to do so will leave you feeling like something is missing in your life. Eventually, you will come to realize that what is missing is you! Next, connect with others. Ask yourself, “Who would I like to spend more time with?” Social studies show that people who invest in a rich “circle of friends” are twice as likely to feel very happy and abundant.

Your abundance score will increase as you extend your sense of connection to include the sun, the stars, the sea and the trees. Too many of us suffer from what author Richard Louv calls “a nature-deficit disorder.” Mother Nature offers a perfect holding environment that helps to restore us to our unconditioned selves. Most important of all is our connection with the original energy that created us. In my favorite book, A Course in Miracles, it is written, “A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need to correct.” Amen to that.

Goals: I know what I want.

Contrary to what the advertising copy writers tell us, the goal of your life is not to have it all. Nor is it to have everything. As the comedian Steven Wright said, “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Your goal is not just to accumulate. You are not a consumer. You are not here on Earth just “to get.” If you think only in terms of “getting,” you have clearly forgotten who you really are, and you’ll always be haunted by a mistaken sense of inner lack.

Most of the people I meet are not broken, they do not need fixing and there is nothing missing in them. My experience is that they don’t need more therapy, but they do need more clarity. In particular, they need to get clear about what they really value. Until we know what our real values are, we will not be able to discern between genuine desires and advertising slogans. The Sufi poet Hafiz put it very well when he said:

“Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins
That may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days
Like a broken man
Behind a farting camel.”

Exercise: Reflect on the statement, “I know what I want.” How true is this for you? Sit with this until you are at least a little bit clearer than before about what is the real more you want and why. Your newfound clarity will save you so much time, so much energy and so much unnecessary heartache. Notice also that knowing what you want isn’t just about “having” and “doing,” it’s also about “giving” and “being.” When you know what you want, you stop wanting more of everything else.

Money: I have a healthy relationship to money.

Rich people seldom feel rich. They do not perceive themselves to be rich. In a Gallup poll, the average person judged that 21 percent of people, approximately one in five, are in the “rich” bracket. And yet not even one-half of 1 percent of people put themselves in that bracket. In other words, only one person in 200 can identify with the phrase “I am a rich person.” Most people relate to terms like “rich,” “wealth” and “abundance” as something you eventually experience when you finally, one day—you hope—enjoy something more than what you have now.

Rich people often feel poor. “When they are asked how much income they need, richer people always say they need more than poor people,” writes Lord Richard Layard, the British economist. In his book Happiness: Lessons from a New Science, Lord Layard collated research on the economics of happiness back to the early 1970s. He writes: “Although real income per head (corrected for price inflation) has nearly doubled, the proportion of people who say they are pretty well satisfied with their financial situation has actually fallen.”

Exercise: Money is important in life, but if you are to enjoy a truly healthy relationship with money, you have to be clear about what is even more important than money. The real truth is that you can’t buy what you really want. True love is not for sale. Real happiness cannot be bought. Peace of mind is not a commodity. To increase your abundance score immediately, try this great exercise: Make a list of 10 things in your life that are priceless to you and that money cannot buy. This powerful exercise will open your eyes to how rich your life already is.

Receiving: I am a good receiver (in all areas of my life).

Are you a good receiver? Do you drink life in? Do you let people give to you? Can you let the good times roll? When it comes to letting life be really great, what’s your threshold? What’s your fear?

There are no shortages, only a lack of willingness to receive. Receptivity works on three levels. Level 1 is about being open to what wants to come to you. This openness makes you attractive, in that it helps you to attract great things. Level 2 is about recognizing what is already here. Many of us overlook what is already here because we are poor receivers. Level 3 is about appreciating the natural qualities of our true nature—our secret beauty, our eternal loveliness, our innate wisdom and our human kindness.

Exercise: Take a personal inventory in which you identify at least three ways you limit your own happiness and abundance. Notice how you are depriving yourself of nourishment, inspiration, joy and aliveness. Make a resolution to stop being so mean to yourself. And be willing to let life give to you, so you can give yourself more fully to life. Reflect also on what my friend Dr. Chuck Spezzano says: “When the receiver is ready, the gift appears.”

Giving: When I give, I give unconditionally.

Has it ever occurred to you that what you are not getting—either from someone, something or somewhere—might be precisely what you are not giving? For example, your boss doesn’t motivate you, but do you motivate your boss? Your partner doesn’t compliment you, but do you compliment your partner? Your child never listens to you, but do you really listen to your child? Really? You are held back not by what you don’t get, but by what you don’t give.

Do you ever feel you give too much? If so, it may be that you are blocking abundance by being in a role. Roles are often so unconscious and automatic we often don’t notice them until we collapse with exhaustion. So, what roles do you fall into in relationships? Do you ever play “the giver” who only gives and never receives; or “the helper” who suppresses any personal needs; or “the independent one” who never asks for what they want; or “the rescuer” who is always on duty; or “the martyr” who cannot really give unconditionally because they do not really receive?

Exercise: Today, do not think in terms of giving and receiving; rather, see that giving is receiving. Notice the difference between giving from your essence and giving from a role. From your essence, giving is always sharing and the gifts are multiplied. In a role, giving is always a transaction in which someone inevitably loses. When you give from your essence, you notice how you receive as you give, and, thus, you naturally let go of all fear of giving and receiving.

Purpose: I enjoy a strong sense of purpose.

The most abundant people I know are committed to a strong sense of purpose. Having a purpose helps you to feel good about yourself. It connects you to something bigger than your ego, helps you to recognize what is truly valuable, inspires you (more than money ever can), opens you up and makes you want to give and to serve in a way that you feel truly blessed. Without a strong sense of purpose, you can still get by, but you might not feel very alive, except for when you go shopping for more shoes and stuff.

Exercise 1: What would you say if someone was to ask you, “What is the purpose of your life?” Notice your response to this question. If you are not clear on your answer, you need to take some time to work this out. The clearer you are about your purpose, the more abundant you will feel.

Exercise 2: To discover the purpose of your life, you have to “let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love,” the poet Rumi said. Asking yourself, “What do I love?” will help to clarify what energizes you, what touches your heart and what inspires you. As you answer the call to what you love, you will naturally feel more alive and more deeply engaged with life. You will also experience a greater sense of direction, meaning and fulfillment.

Forgiveness: I don’t carry grievances.

Grievances often seem justified at the time, but ultimately they cost too much: They are not worth the upkeep, and they cannot give you want you really want.

The first step in moving beyond grievances is to realize that a grievance is not a solution. It offers nothing of value to you. A grievance keeps you stuck in the past, and until you let go of the grievance, you will keep giving away your future to the past. The good news is that your whole life shifts whenever you give up a grievance. As soon as you let go of a grievance, you move into the present, your life begins to flow again, you are more open, you attract new possibilities and a new story unfolds.

Exercise: Make this your affirmation today: “Forgiveness offers everything I want.” One of my favorite lessons in A Course in Miracles begins: “Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? … All this forgiveness offers you, and more.”

Gratitude: I practice gratitude daily.

Everyone understands, at least intellectually, that gratitude is essential for happiness and abundance. That said, most of us do not make a conscious habit of practicing gratitude daily. Instead, we reserve gratitude for after something especially good happens. The problem with this is that, because we don’t practice gratitude regularly, we often miss all the good things as they happen! Our lack of gratitude gives us only partial sight, and we lack a full appreciation of what is available to us.

Practicing gratitude is really a decision to give up all belief in lack. The miracle of gratitude is that it changes your perception, it changes your brain and it changes your experience of the world. Gratitude is a training in vision that helps you recognize what is already here for you. Gratitude energizes you. Gratitude opens you up. Gratitude makes you attractive. The more you practice gratitude, the more abundant you will feel. Why? Because like attracts like; and practicing gratitude attracts more reasons to be grateful.

Exercise: Your abundance score will increase if you commit to practicing gratitude on a daily basis. To get started, say out loud 10 things you are truly grateful for. Notice what this feels like to hear yourself say it. Are you having fun? Does it feel silly? Any resistance to doing this exercise is really a temptation to keep holding on to your old stories of lack, unworthiness and separation. Keep going. And keep doing it. The gift of gratitude is that it helps you to enjoy your life as it happens, here and now.

Presence: I am fully present in my life.

Our modern lifestyles are so manic, busy and hyperactive that we often have no time to enjoy our lives. In maximizing our efforts to pursue happiness, chase success and accumulate wealth, we miss out on life as it happens. We are so focused on “going” and “doing” and “having” that we settle for getting through the day instead of living and loving each day. Life becomes such a blur and the busyness is so chronic that it is almost impossible to locate ourselves in our own lives. We hope we might catch up with ourselves some time in the future.

Every authentic school of wisdom and spirituality teaches you that now is the most abundant moment of your life. They all agree that now is an eternal treasure chest dripping with everlasting gifts of peace, inspiration, grace and joy. And since time began, spiritual teachers have taught their students to “be here and now,” to “enjoy the moment” and to “seize the day.” And every spiritual student has repeatedly disregarded his or her teacher’s wisdom—at first.

Exercise: One way to be more present in your life is to stop “doing,” “going” and “having,” and pay more attention to “being.” How does this work? Well, you can start right now, by deciding “to be” more of what you want to experience. For example: If you want more love, be more loving; if you want to receive more, be more open; if you want to feel more abundant, be more grateful; and if you want to enjoy your life more, be more present.

By being more of who you really are,
you manifest more of what you really want.

Robert Holden, PhD, and his innovative work on happiness and well-being have been featured on The Oprah Show and Good Morning America and also in two major BBC documentaries, The Happiness Formula and How to Be Happy, shown to more than 30 million TV viewers worldwide. He is the author of the best-selling books Happiness NOW!, Shift Happens! and Success Intelligence. His latest book, Be Happy, is published by Hay House. Robert lives in London with his wife and daughter.

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Want to Change Your Life? – Learn the Stages of Change

April 1st, 2011 by LivingorSurviving.com

So….you want to change your life. Most of us, at one time or another in our lives, reach a point when we know—way down deep inside—that something in our lives has to change, and that WE have to be the ones to change it. Be it spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically, the status quo is no longer satisfying our needs, and it’s time to do something about it. When it comes to our self-image, it is often a grueling and difficult task to make change, however, because the thoughts that have “fed” our behaviors for so long are deeply ingrained in our psyches, and the habits of thought are hard to break.

Psychologists Prochaska, Norcross, and DiClemente, among others, have developed a theory about the process of change, and the process by which we can be effective at implementing change in our lives. This model is called the Transtheoretical Model, and involves a number of steps by which people have been professionally and successfully treated and taught to manage their problem behaviors through behavior modification. As you read, ask yourself where you are in the process of change, and what obstacles are standing in your way from reaching the next level, and ultimately success.

1. PRECONTEMPLATION. In this stage, a person is unaware that he or she has a problem, or is under-aware of the problem. There is no expressed desire to make any changes, and no real concern or immediacy for anything to be different. If asked, we might say that things are fine, and that if nothing is different a year from now, it would be okay. Others around us may think we have a problem, or may be concerned about us, but we don’t see their need for concern, or simply don’t care. In terms of weight loss, when in this stage, we are comfortable with our weight, eating habits, health, and activity level. We don’t notice any real problems related to our bodies and are in a state of what is commonly referred to as “denial.”

2. CONTEMPLATION. In this stage, an individual has become aware that there may be a problem, and has begun considering doing something about it. An overweight person may notice that he or she is out of breath when walking a short flight of stairs, or notices that his or her clothes don’t fit the way they used to. He or she realizes that his or her health may be in jeopardy, and is beginning to “wish” that things could be different. When in this stage we often talk about how we really should lose weight. We should go to the gym. We should say no to chocolate super fudge brownies. We should eat more fruits and veggies. We should…we should….we should…but we don’t.

3. COMMITMENT. In this stage, we have become more than aware that we have a problem. We are motivated to do something to change it. Our health is at risk. We don’t like ourselves. We are self conscious. “Darnit,” we say. “I can’t take it any more. It’s time to do something about this.” We go beyond saying “I should” and begin saying “I will.” Interestingly, this is a difficult stage to get to. We often enter this stage and commit to change only when the alternative is no longer tolerable. The thought of NOT changing is unbearable. We can’t stand being out of shape any more. We are sick of the way we feel about ourselves. We are sick of watching life instead of participating in it. It is in this stage that change—and progress—are born.

4. PREPARATION. So we’ve decided to change. Perhaps we’ve decided to lose weight, or be more active, or change our eating habits, or stop telling ourselves negative thoughts. So how do we go about doing that? We need a plan. We brainstorm. This is our “could” stage. We think of every possible alternative and resource. We could join a gym. We could hire a personal trainer. We could eat nothing but lean cuisines. We could go on a grapefruit diet. We could exercise an hour every day. They may be realistic, or downright crazy, but we’re brainstorming. We look at our options, and we choose the ones that will work for us. We prepare for battle. We buy the workout outfits with the matching headbands. We invest in expensive home gym equipment. We buy unproven supplements from professional looking models on tv. We rid our homes of dangerous temptations. We devise a plan, and are intent on following it through. We are ready.

5. ACTION. We’ve committed. We’ve prepared. We are physically, emotionally, and spiritually ready to embark on a journey by which we will improve our lives. And we follow our plan. The action stage is the “I am” stage. I am working out 3 days a week. I am following a sound nutrition plan. I am catching myself and the negative things I say to myself about food and my weight. I am feeling better. I am proud of myself. I am doing. I am acting responsibly. I am changing and I feel it. This stage, when engaged consistently, will result in the changes for which we have prepared and desired for so long. Is it easy? No. Is it always fun? No. Does it take a great deal of motivation, support, desire, and tenacity? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. If you stick to it, will it happen? Yes. The key is to enjoy the doing as much as the results of doing. Take pride in the fact that you are behaving better. You deserve respect. You’re doing more than most. You’re way ahead of where you were in the game back when. The secret is to keep doing. It takes a week or less to form a bad habit; it takes at least 30 consistent abstinent days to break one. Give yourself time to form good habits that will last you long after you’ve reached your weight loss goal. Just keep doing.

6. MAINTENANCE. Whew! You’ve been working out. Your clothes fit differently. You feel proud when you look in the mirror. You hold your head higher. You have more self confidence. The danger of this stage, after we’ve made some big changes, is that we slide into complacency. We’re no longer so uncomfortable that we MUST change, and we are at high risk for relapse into past unhealthy and ineffective behaviors. Research shows that people who are able to maintain healthy changes for a minimum of six months have a great chance of success. If we can maintain—not the weight, but the behaviors that have helped us lose it—then we are on our way to lifelong changes. All those good habits that were hard for us at times—working out, watching what we eat, encouraging ourselves, getting support from others—have become part of our lifestyle. It’s just what we do, and the alternative is not an option.

When we have gotten to the point where we have implemented healthy lifestyle BEHAVIORS into our daily living, and continue to engage in those healthy behaviors regardless of the fact that we have reached a weight loss goal, it is THEN that we will have been truly successful at changing for life. When it becomes unthinkable to BEHAVE differently, then we will have reached the point where weight is no longer the focus of our goals, and will no longer be a source of low self-esteem. After all, we will be managing our lives in a way that demands respect from others, and it will show not only in the fitness of our bodies, but in the confidence and pride with which we greet the world. And THAT is where real success is measured.

Jana BeutlerHolland, Co-Owner of Strength Wellness Athletic Training (S.W.A.T. )

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Trouble Staying Focused?

March 9th, 2011 by LivingorSurviving.com

There are “on” days, when you feel creative, focused and full of ideas and solutions, and “off” days, when it’s easy to get distracted and after a hard day’s work, you’ve barely made a dent in your superlong to-do list. If you’re having more off days (totally normal this time of year), here’s good news: Research shows that we all have the ability to enhance our mental power now and for years to come, just by making a few simple lifestyle changes. (It turns out, certain habits that we thought would boost productivity may actually slow us down!) Find out which common habits muck up our cognitive wheels, and how to get them spinning full speed again so you can complete your work faster, get home sooner—and spend more time doing the things you love.

1. multitasking

Juggling multiple tasks is the big thing, as we all text, talk, check multiple screens and try to work at the same time. No surprise, the quality of our work may suffer. “The prefrontal cortex, a region critical to processing info, is optimally designed to do one thing at a time,” explains Adam Gazzaley, M.D., director of the neuroscience imaging center at the University of California at San Francisco. “Think of it as the bouncer at the nightclub of your brain: He’s paid to let in one guest at a time. If they rush the door, things get chaotic.” Dr. Gazzaley suggests that when something requires high performance and focus, shut out distractions. Log out of social-networking sites and email, and turn off your phone. Once you’ve finished that important task, feel free to share your success with friends on your Facebook wall.

2. skipping workouts

After a long day at the office, it’s tough to summon the energy to lace up your sneaks and get to the gym. But exercise is one of the best ways to stay sharp as you age, according to Fred H. Gage, Ph.D., professor of age-related neurodegenerative diseases at the Salk Institute. His landmark research shows that exercise significantly increases the rate of blood flow to the hippocampus, a brain region vital to memory, which generates new cell growth and improves mental processing. Interested? Follow the lead of the adults in Gage’s study, who got about an hour of aerobic activity a day, four times a week. I like to schedule my workouts in the morning before my day gets rolling, so I feel mentally and physically ready for whatever comes my way—and I can chill out after work guilt-free.

3. nutrient shortfalls

Ever wonder why so many philosophers in ancient Greece were making brilliant observations well into old age? We’ll never know for sure, but the Mediterranean diet—high in fruit, vegetables and healthy fats like olive oil; low in salt and red meat—definitely didn’t hurt. Mediterranean-diet followers have a 40 percent lower risk for Alzheimer’s disease, research at Columbia University notes, and other studies have linked this way of eating with reduced risk for memory loss. Experts claim the diet’s powers might be due in part to its inflammation-fighting antioxidants. Try out Med-inspired recipes from Self.com/TK, and enjoy them with a glass of vino—moderate wine consumption is part of the plan. Opa!

4. putting off your dream vacay

One more great excuse to book that flight to Brazil (or whatever exotic country calls your name): Immersing yourself in a foreign culture can enhance creative thinking. Research has shown that people who live abroad are better at creative tasks such as drawing, writing and problem solving. “Outside their cultural context, they’re forced to relearn the meaning of simple things,” says study author William W. Maddux, Ph.D., assistant professor of organizational behavior at Insead, a business school in Fountainbleu, France. For example, leaving food on your plate may be an insult in the United States, but it’s polite in China. “The ability to look at things from multiple and different perspectives leads us to increased creativity, possibly by changing how the brain is wired,” Maddux says. If spending time abroad isn’t an option, learning a new language or becoming an expert on a foreign cuisine may strike that spark for you.

5. weight creep

Seems odd that it has anything to do with brainpower, but excess body fat has been shown to up the risk for memory loss in women. “Fat releases chemicals called cytokines that might produce hormones harmful to neurons,” says study author Diana R. Kerwin, M.D., assistant professor of medicine at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. She advises maintaining a body-mass index of 20 to 24. (Calculate yours at Self.com.) Need help getting there? See tips 2 and 7.

6. lack of sleep

Anyone who’s ever pulled an all-nighter knows that focus, recall and rational thought are shot the next day. And although scientists are still exploring exactly how ample rest recharges our mental batteries, new research from Harvard Medical School indicates it may be related to adenosine triphosphate (ATP), a molecule that floods the brain during sleep. Dubbed the “energy currency” of life, ATP captures the chemical energy that gets released from metabolized nutrients and makes that energy available for cellular functions. To help ensure your cells get plenty of fuel, aim for seven to eight hours of shut-eye a night.

7. getting stuck in a rut

Picking up any new skill (rock climbing, tangoing, playing piano) may create new neural pathways or connections in the brain, which can keep your mind sharp over time. The key is choosing something you like. “This is not an ivory tower concept: The more you enjoy something, the more you do it,” explains Yaakov Stern, Ph.D., professor of clinical neuropsychology at Columbia University.

8. staying cooped up indoors

The simple act of getting outside and into the sun (after applying sunscreen, of course!) may help stoke your creative juices. One study found that students were better at writing haiku (as judged by expert poets) and exhibited more flexible, original thinking when they were exposed to bright, full-spectrum light for 30 minutes in the morning. “Light affects the midsection of the brain, where circadian rhythms are generated. As a result, it helps lift mood and energy level, which in turn encourages creative thinking,” says the study’s author, Alice Flaherty, M.D., assistant professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School.

by Lucy Danziger and the staff at SELF

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20 Tricks to Change a Bad Habit

March 2nd, 2011 by LivingorSurviving.com

Are you letting bad habits rule your life? I started learning how to change habits a few years ago. Since then I’ve switched to a vegan diet, began exercising every day, started writing new articles every day, began waking up earlier and trying some wacky experiments to improve my life. Here are some ideas I’ve found useful:

Commit for a Month. Thirty days is all you need to make a habit change permanent. Less time than that and the new alternative might not be hardwired into your brain. More time and any failures to last are usually a failure of strategy, not duration.
Replace What You Lose. Your habits fulfill needs. When you suddenly cause a change, you may inadvertently cut them out. Before you make a change, write down all the benefits you currently get from your bad habit and make sure they are retained going into the new habit.
Start Small . Changing habits isn’t a matter of willpower, but patience and strategy. Don’t expect to overhaul your diet, exercise or thinking patterns in a day. Tackle one habit at a time.
Know the Benefits. Get clear in your mind what the benefits are of making a change. If making a change rationally seems good but it doesn’t feel good, it won’t stick. Emotions have more power than many of us realize.
Write it Down . Winston Churchill once said, “Plans are useless, planning is invaluable.” Writing out any commitments you make will give you clarity both to what you desire and how you intend to do it.
Swish. A technique from NLP. Visualize yourself performing the bad habit. Next visualize yourself pushing aside the bad habit and performing an alternative. Finally, end that sequence with an image of yourself in a highly positive state. See yourself picking up the cigarette, see yourself putting it down and snapping your fingers, finally visualize yourself running and breathing free. Do it a few times until you automatically go through the pattern before executing the old habit.
Tell a Friend . Get some leverage on yourself. Tell a friend your plan so you will be more likely to commit to the change.
Make it an Experiment. Be a scientist. Just try the new habit to see what it will be like, rather than a great emotional struggle. This will help keep you focused on conditioning the trial and allow you to view results with less bias.
If at First You Don’t Succeed… Most big changes aren’t going to happen the first time. It took me three attempts before I finally stuck on with exercising regularly. Now I love it. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail the first time; just tweak your approach and go again.
Get Out of Hazard Zones. Get yourself out of situations that can trigger your old habit. Remove junk food from your house. Don’t go to places where you might break your budget. This isn’t always possible, but do your best to avoid temptation.
Use But. A prominent habit-changing therapist once told me this great technique for changing bad thought patterns. When you start to think negative thoughts, use the word ”but” to interrupt it. ”I’m no good at this, but, if I work at it I might get better later.”
Know the Pain. Feel what will happen to you if you don’t make a change. Use your imagination to enhance the image of your results should you do nothing.
Add Role Models. Start spending more time with people who live the way you want to live. Join groups and find mentors who have already adapted the habits you want to take on. They can be invaluable in giving you the positive reinforcement and guidance you need.
Stay Consistent . Try to keep as many aspects of your habit in control when conditioning to make the associations stronger. For the first month don’t just exercise a few times a week, but every day. Do things at the same time and in the same pattern to ensure your results stick.
Keep it Simple Stupid!. Habits should be one or two rules, not 20. If your plan looks like a User License Agreement from Microsoft, it’s probably too long. Keep changes simple so they will be easier to adhere to.
Remind Yourself. Put reminders of your habit around you. After spending a few years changing many habits, I’ve learned that one of the biggest ways I’ve failed is simply a poor memory. Forgetting to run a trial one day leads to two until your back where you started. Put up Post-It notes, affirmations or whatever you need to stay consistent.
Motivate Yourself. Get the motivation when things get tough. Check out 20 Motivation Hacks for some good ways to do that.
Break Down Your Goals. Use habits to get your goals. Break down your goal to be wealthy into habits of investing, frugality and entrepreneurship.
Don’t Strive for Perfection. Focus on the habits that are important and minimize those that aren’t. I’ve changed many major habits, but I’ve also learned to let minor problems exist if they distract me from the bigger picture.
Do it Now. Waiting for life? The best way to learn how to change those stubborn habits in your life is to practice. Make a change now and in a month you can have a completely new way of living.

Scott Young is a blogger at ScottHYoung.com, where he writes about productivity, motivation and getting the most out of life. This article is just an introduction … for more, check out Scott’s latest book – How to Change a Habit.