Katy Browning, 30, owner of Browning Frames & Prints Brooklyn, NY

HER STORY: I’ve worked in the high-end wholesale framing industry for over seven years framing artwork for art advisors, galleries, museums, and private clients. After finishing school in 2006, I found a space in Brooklyn Heights and fell in love with the storefront. I know very few female framers but I had worked for so many years not making much money yet observing how to run a business. I handle every aspect of the shop now from bookkeeping to taxes.

WORD TO THE WISE: Don’t become overwhelmed by your numbers in the first year and be careful not to overreact each month when you look at your total revenues. When I approached my first August, which tends to be slow in my industry, I became stressed out and unsure about how to handle the lack of business. But if you can just get through that first year, you’ll have a better idea of what to expect. Now, I’m prepared for August because I’ve accepted that it’s my slow month and it’s ok—because I know what my busy months are too!

—————

Sarah Richardson, 30, owner of Sarah Richardson Jewelry Mill Valley, CA

HER STORY: After graduating from the Rhode Island School of Design where I majored in metalsmithing, I apprenticed with a jeweler in Providence and learned the business side of the industry. My father had his own business and I always had the urge to have my own too. So in 2004 with $6000 saved up, I started my own company. Unfortunately, $6000 didn’t get me as far as I thought it would so I looked for ways to supplement my income. I taught metalsmithing and became a part-time manager of a jewelry gallery. To get my business off the ground, I called and emailed galleries relentlessly in my early years trying to get them to feature my work. But it was when I set up my own booths at wholesale shows did I really start to get my work out there. Now I have my jewelry in over 40 galleries across the country, and I can only imagine how things are going to grow.

WORD TO THE WISE: Don’t give up. Success can come in small packages. It can be a new contact, show, or store. It could even be as simple as a new design. Each of these steps is the beginning of a successful business. Most career success doesn’t happen overnight. You start at the bottom and as you learn, you move up. It’s the same with owning your own company. Then one day you look around and see the company you’ve created and you’ll know all your hard work was worth it.

—————

Jennie Cini, 30, and Ingrid Soderberg, 35, co-founders of Black Sheep Baby Minneapolis, MN

THEIR STORY: Ingrid says, “I first had the idea in the early 90s when my niece was born. I remember telling my sister-in-law that I wanted to make baby clothes in black. She just about had a heart attack saying, ‘You can’t put a baby in black!’ Even something like a leopard print outfit or cool diaper bag was unheard of back then. And when I had my son in 2004 the idea was reborn. Jennie and I wanted to start our own business, selling kid’s clothes with a rock star sensibility. We had to be very creative about financing. We used personal cash and credit cards to start, but now we have enough coming in from sales to keep us going.

WORD TO THE WISE: Jennie says: “Have a passion for what you’re doing. Believe in your product or service and know that you’re filling a gap or providing a need which would not otherwise be filled—this will keep you going.” And Ingrid: “One, write a solid business plan and get enough money. Two, be very careful and thoughtful about the building of your website and three, if you have kids, wait until the youngest is in elementary school before starting your business. There’s something to be said for off-time.”

By Jihan Thompson

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With New Year’s resolutions still fairly fresh, here’s some advice from some therapists on putting bad habits to rest:

Make a list. Write down all of the reasons why you want to stop a certain behavior — how it’s hurting you and why getting rid of it will help. Look at that list often.

Become more aware. Many habits are hard to break because they are unconscious impulses. Turn them into choices instead: Make a written or mental note every time you do something unwanted such as biting your nails or yelling at your kids.

Substitute other activities. It’s easier to replace a bad habit than stop it. If you lose your temper often, for example, practice deep breathing or go for a walk.

Break it down. Think of the steps needed to shed a habit and tackle them one at a time. To stay motivated, keep your goals simple and realistic.

Reward yourself. Before you take on a bad habit, decide what you’ll do to celebrate with every baby step you complete.

Remove temptations. If you overeat, keep junk food out of your house. If you crave cigarettes with coffee, switch to tea — and avoid smoky bars or friends who light up.

Be patient. Bad habits develop over years, so you likely won’t be able to ditch them immediately. The average smoker, in fact, tries to quit about seven times before being successful.

Find support. Tell family and friends about your goal. If there’s a local or online support group for people with your problem, join it.
Get help for addictions. Some habits, particularly substance abuse and smoking, involve a real physical or emotional dependency and may require professional attention.

by McCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS

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In the words of prolific British novelist Arnold Bennett, “Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” So if you find change difficult to handle, you’re not alone; many others grapple with both the benefits and challenges brought about by change. Take solace in the fact that change happens to everyone everyday; it’s the one constant in life, the thing that connects us all.

Perhaps life has handed you a challenging change, or maybe you’ve initiated a change you’ve always wanted to make. At First30Days, we believe that the change you’re currently experiencing can be made easier, smoother and less stressful; we’re going to share proven tips and techniques to help you cope with this change—be it a career change, relationship change, health change or financial change—with hope, optimism and serenity.

At First30Days, we’ve developed nine principles, or secrets, to help you move through change to reach your destination successfully. We believe that creating an entirely new perspective on change—a new mindset about the transitions you face—will help you become a “Change Optimist” and love your life even more.

1. Change Your View of Change: Beliefs Can Make all the Difference

The things that you believe about change—and about yourself—will directly affect how successfully you move through your current transition, whether you’re in day one, day 30 or years past the start of the change.
People who fear change usually believe that change is hard, which lays bare all of their anxieties and insecurities. They then feel paralyzed and unable to move past this change for fear of failure. On the other hand, there are people who believe that change is a positive thing that will help them grow and learn. These “Change Optimists” also believe that something exciting is waiting for them on the other side of the transition—even if they can’t see the benefit now.

The good news is: we can identify and bust the myths and fears we have about change. Don’t ask the traditional disempowering questions during change, such as “Why did this happen to me?” and “How will I ever get through this?” Kick-start a new belief about change with a few new questions, like “What could be great about this change?,” “What opportunity has this change brought to me?,” “What good things in my life haven’t changed?” and “What can I be grateful for?” When you ask these positive questions, you’ll notice your outlook on change beginning to shift to the positive.

2. The Change Guarantee™: From This Situation, Something Good Will Come

Even though it’s hard to imagine while you’re in the middle of a change, the transition you’re going through is opening up your life and leading you toward a brighter future. Every change will eventually bring something good into your life: This is the Change Guarantee. It may not be how, what or when they expect, but those who navigate change successfully know that it always brings a gift into their lives.

Maybe you’ve been fired and unemployed for months; it’s likely that a new, rewarding career is on your horizon. Maybe you’ve divorced and believe that you’ll never fall in love again; it’s possible that the best relationship of your life is right around the corner. Perhaps you’ve had a heart attack; by permanently changing the way you eat and exercise, you’re in for the best years of your life. Your current change is already working to lead you to a brighter future.

3. The Change Muscle™: You’re Stronger than You Think

Those who successfully move through change know they’re resilient, strong and capable of getting through anything. There’s something within every human being that supports us and keeps us alive and moving forward: We’re born with a will to survive, a will to heal and a will to be happier and feel good again. Your Change Muscle is the strength that’s created from all of the changes that you’ve been through—the big changes, small changes, unexpected changes and the changes you, yourself, have initiated.

Change gets easier the more we live through it. Our brains and bodies tend to remember the last time we experienced change—recalling that it didn’t kill us. When we take the time to look back, we remember that something positive eventually came from it, as well. Reinforce the strength of your Change Muscle by creating a Change Resume™, a private document that lists all of the changes that you’ve already lived through. Include changes big and small—from switching schools or moving to a new city to surviving a serious accident or getting divorced. Every change, both positive and challenging, will strengthen your Change Muscle and help you get through the change you’re experiencing today—and the changes you will certainly face in the future.

4. Change Demons: How to Recognize Negative Emotions and Move Past Them

People who move easily through change know that every challenging emotion can be replaced with a positive emotion that will help strengthen their resolve to move through change in a calmer, more optimistic way. The Change Demons—the negative emotions of fear, doubt, impatience, blame, guilt and shame that rear their ugly heads during change—can each be substituted for a brighter emotion.

Replace fear with faith. The next time fear shows up, find your faith—faith in yourself, in spirituality, in Life or in the certainty that this situation will change.

Replace doubt with surrender. During change, it’s natural to doubt. The next time you feel doubtful, trust that things will resolve themselves and become clear.

Replace impatience with endurance. It’s natural to want to charge through change as quickly as possible. But the next time you feel impatient, remember that every change depends on your endurance—your ability to wait for the next phase of your life to progress at its own pace.

Replace blame with honesty. During change, we often look for someone to blame for the pain or stress that we’re experiencing. When you find yourself blaming someone, especially yourself, get radically honest by asking yourself: “What’s the truth?” “What’s really happening?” “What can I do to make it better?”

Replace guilt with forgiveness. People have the ability to feel guilty about anything. The next time you feel guilty, forgive yourself and make your guilt a thing of the past.

Replace shame with honor. The changes you’re experiencing may cause you to feel ashamed of what’s happening in your life. When shame comes up, use it as an opportunity to honor your choices, decisions and mistakes.

5. The Gift of Acceptance: Resisting Change is Not the Answer

Change Optimists know that the quicker they accept change, the less pain and hardship they will feel. When you accept change, it means that you take in your new circumstances without fighting, arguing, explaining or asking, “What if?”

Think of yourself as a boat on the river: When you resist change, it’s as if you’re rowing upstream against the current, when everything that’s right for you is downstream. Change becomes hard when you try to get back upstream to where you once were instead of flowing with the “River of Life.” Clinging to the rocks or rowing vigorously back upstream makes change tough.

Resisting change often makes life more difficult; with time, we always adjust to new ways of living.

 

6. The Things You Can Control: What You Say, Think and Feel

Those who successfully navigate change know that when they feel “stuck,” speaking different words, thinking positive thoughts and getting in touch with their feelings can help them become “unstuck” in a matter of minutes. Though you can’t control how or when things change in your life, you can control the words you say, the dominant thoughts you believe and the emotions you allow yourself to feel. When you stop trying to control your outside circumstances and work, instead, to control what goes on inside of yourself, you’ll be on your way to loving your life more.

You can begin to control your words, thoughts and feelings today by:

• Becoming aware of the language you use to describe the change you’re experiencing. Trade victim vocabulary for words that are uplifting and empowering.
• Noticing your thought patterns. When you change the way you think, you begin to control the movies that play in your mind: You have the power to make them bright, dark, negative, lonely or uplifting.
• Realizing that all feelings—the positive and the challenging—become your compass while navigating change; they help point you in the optimistic direction by alerting you to how you don’t want to feel and how you do want to feel.

7. Meet Your Spiritual Side: Where Tranquility, Ideas and Wisdom Live

When going through change, Change Optimists know that they need to look for the part of themselves that doesn’t change and is always there—the part that’s calm and centered. This is their spiritual side, and it will help them move through change with ease and grace.

When you tap into this side of yourself, you’re connecting with an army of invisible forces that are just waiting to help you. You can tune into this resource every day by simply turning inward and noticing how things feel.

Start tapping into your spiritual side today by embracing quiet time: You can take a walk, sit in silence, pray, express your gratitude or meditate. The method doesn’t matter, just be sure to take a few minutes and explore yourself on the inside. Your spiritual side is always there; once you become aware of it, you’ll feel its stability, guidance and gentle suggestions.

 

8. Your Change Support Team: The People and Things That Can Help

Those who successfully work through change create an environment that supports their evolution by surrounding themselves with supportive people. Saying three simple words—“I need help”—will produce an incredible amount of assistance. You may fear that saying those words makes you weak, but research proves that people find it easier to get through change when they’re in a positive group environment.

When going through change, it’s important, as well, to surround yourself with things that are symbols of comfort, positive memories and power. If you lose your way during the transition, these items are there to get you back on course. Any object that’s uplifting can help you get through change: It can be a teddy bear, a trinket, a card, a candle, a photo of something or someone, an inspirational quote or a lucky stone. There are no rules for the things that give you strength.

9. Get Unstuck: Actions to Move You Through Any Change

As people who embrace change have realized, another secret to navigating transitions is to get moving. Physical motion prevents you from getting stuck and allows you to progress onward. When we go through change, emotional, physical and psychic energy is swirling around us—staying still prevents that energy from circulating. When you don’t know what to do, just start moving. You can do anything—go for a walk, do the dishes, hit the gym, water the plants or organize your closets.

Movement is key during change, and so is health—it’s essential to take care of yourself during transitions. Doing so will help you move through change in an easier and calmer way. Remember the concept of S.E.E.D.: Sleep, Eat, Exercise and Drink (water that is!). Be sure to get just enough sleep (though sleeping too much isn’t helpful), eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly and drink lots of water. The S.E.E.D. will help you get through change faster by giving you the strength and vitality to move forward without getting stuck.

Now’s the perfect time to begin looking at change differently—for the first 30 days and for the rest of your life. Change is something at which you can get better—it’s a skill you can learn and a path to loving your life even more! Have a wonderful, uplifting journey!

from First30Days.com

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The phrase “You can do it if you just believe” has become so watered down to the point that people just roll their eyes when they hear it. They’ve tried it and it just doesn’t work for them.

Here are just a few quotes on the subject.

“To succeed, we must first believe that we can.” - Michael Korda

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” -Mark Victor Hansen

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” - Mary Kay Ash

“You have to believe in yourself” – Sun Tzu

“Believe that you will succeed, and you will.” - Dale Carnegie

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

Notice how they are all saying essentially the same thing, that if you believe it, you can do it.

Well, let me just say I wholeheartedly agree, but I think they left out one very important part and that is:

How do you believe?

It’s not enough to just say “Oh, just believe and it will happen.” I hate with a passion of a thousand suns, advice that’s just given to us without any proper procedures or guidelines to follow on how to implement it. That’s what drove me to write the “How to Find What You Love to Do” article.

Furthermore, I think the reason why such people have a hard time believing is because we’ve never done it.

What I mean by that is we never really formed our own beliefs.

Think about it.

Trace back all your beliefs on religion, politics, money, people, society, and the world in general. You’ll find that the root of the majority of your beliefs came from outside of you, whether it was through your parents, friends, or media.

“Don’t talk to strangers. They’re bad.”

“Money is the root of all evil.” (it’s actually “the love of money is the root of all evil”)

“If you don’t do good in school, you’ll fail in life.”

“You have to go to college to get a good job.”

The majority of people have never really gone through the exercise of creating their own beliefs, because we’ve been spoon fed them from day one.

It’s time to take charge of our own beliefs.

In order to find out how to believe, let us examine the process in which some of the most powerful beliefs in human beings were created.

I’m talking about people’s beliefs in religion and politics.

The beliefs rooted in religion and politics are EXTREMELY powerful.

We fought other kids over them when we were young.
Families became divided over them.
World wars were fought over them.
Millions of lives were taken because of them.
Men and women even went so far as to take their own lives because of them.

Clearly, the power of people’s beliefs in religion and politics and the effect it has on their lives is unquestioned.

If we can analyze the procedure in which these beliefs were formed and apply that procedure to create our own beliefs, we will be able to achieve anything we want.

The next question is:

How did these beliefs form?

Let’s do this.

Step 1: You must state a specific belief FIRST in order to believe it.

I know it sounds obvious, but there are a lot of people who don’t believe in anything.

You ask them, “Do you believe you can lose 20 pounds of fat?”

“I don’t know….maybe…..we’ll see.”

This is not a belief.

This is a cop out.

STATE a SPECIFIC belief.

It does not matter if you don’t believe it at first.

Just take that first step and STATE it.

So for the purpose of this article, let us utilize a belief that will not stir any controversy, not cause any ill will toward any reader of any religion or political affiliation.

Let us choose a belief that is positive and that many people have a hard time believing.

In fact, let’s continue with the example of the belief stated previously.

I will lose 20 pounds of fat.

Ok, so the first step was taken. A specific belief was created.

I will lose 20 pounds of fat.

Now to all the readers who have tried to lose weight and failed to do so, I can imagine what you are thinking.

“I can’t lose 20 pounds. I tried every miracle diet, drug, fad, exercise, machine, etc., but none of it helped me lose weight. I’ll always be overweight”.

If that’s your automatic reaction, that’s fine. I’m not going to tell you to change your self-talk for now because I know it’s hard to do so.

Don’t get overwhelmed or discouraged. Take it one step at a time.

Now that you have STATED a SPECIFIC belief, what is the next step?

Step 2: HAMMER that belief into yourself CONTINUOUSLY. Beliefs are NOT formed overnight.

People did not come to believe in a political ideal or religion overnight. It was due to a constant hammering of information over a long period of time. Most people got it when they were young from their parents, friends, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, etc. They heard it at the dinner table, when they went to religious service, on TV, books, magazines, friends, acquaintances, etc.

However, this time, nobody is there to hammer the beliefs in you.

YOU created your OWN BELIEF and it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to HAMMER it into YOURSELF.

It doesn’t matter if your self talk is negating your belief.

A constant hammering will always drive the nail into the wall of your self talk.

Just hammer it in.

The nail will always go in the wall if you continuously hammer it in.

This is where 90% of people fail and conclude that the whole “if you believe, you can achieve” idea is utter bull*&%$.

We live in a society where distractions are rampant. Internet, text messaging, cable TV, email, cell phones, TV on our cell phones, ipods, wireless internet access, etc.

We are a spoiled generation. We live in an instantaneous society. We want results NOW. We have lost the virtue of patience.

We have music, video, news, entertainment, all on demand with a push of a button. We can get in touch with anyone in the world by dialing 12 digits. We can look up all sorts of information with a click of a mouse.

It’s so easy to get sucked into the newest things and forget about the importance of continuously focusing on hammering in our new beliefs.

It’s also easy to become discouraged when we don’t see any quick results from hammering in our own beliefs.

We have lost the notion of sticking through with something and not quitting until the goal is achieved, no matter how long it takes.

How can you avoid doing that?

1. Write your belief down everyday.

This is one of the most powerful things you can do in order to hammer a belief in yourself.

I’m reminded of an essay I read online that was written by Scott Adams, the creator of the famous Dilbert cartoon strip.

In it, he mentions how he continuously wrote daily, the belief that he would become rich in the stock market. He soon invested in Chrysler and Ask, two of the best performing stocks at that time and reaped a very nice profit.

He then wrote down the belief that he would hit the 94th percentile on the GMAT, even though he had scored at the 77th percentile when taking several practice tests.

He took the GMAT and the results came in. He hit the 94th percentile.

He became so convinced of the power of writing down his beliefs that he used it to write down that he would become a famous syndicated cartoonist. The rest is history.

I know it sounds a lot like affirmations, and it pretty much is. However, you might have had previous experiences with affirmations and not have had such good results from them.

You will soon see though, that there is much more to believing than just writing down affirmations.

2. Put it everywhere you see.

Another thing you can do is to write your belief down on paper or print it out and paste it everywhere you see; on your refrigerator, mirror, door, computer, TV, wall, bathroom, front door, screen door, everywhere.

This way, you will drill the belief into yourself even when you are not writing it down.

3. Visualize your belief already achieved everyday.

This is another powerful exercise you can do and it’s one of the other things that Scott Adams did alongside the writing of his beliefs.

Your brain does not know the difference between what it sees with your eyes and what you imagine in your mind.

You know what that means? “Things” don’t really exist. What I mean by “things” are the objects you think are real. The pen, the computer, the piece of paper.

The reality is that you take in all the information from your environment via your 5 senses and process that in your brain and in there, your experience is created.

Reality lives alone in the brain.

And because reality lives alone in the brain, you can create your own reality. So create the reality of already having achieved your belief by visualizing it in order to help hammer the belief into your brain.

You must take time each day to hammer your belief in.

If you do it sporadically, your belief will never take root. Rome was not built in a day. Masterpieces were not created overnight.

Anything worth of any significant value was not created instantaneously.

Deep down inside, you know it’s true. There are no shortcuts in life. Does this mean it will take years for your beliefs to come true?

If you consistently hammer in your beliefs and take the following steps that will be outlined, you will find that your beliefs will come true faster than you realize.

Step 3: Continually associate with those who share your beliefs.

If you look back at how beliefs in religion and politics were formed, you’ll find that continuous association on a regular basis with those who shared the same religion and political affiliations helped enormously in solidifying their respective beliefs.

People did NOT habitually associate with those who did NOT share their beliefs.

Muslims did not habitually associate with Jews. Atheists did not habitually associate with Christians. Hardcore conservatives and liberals did not habitually associate with one another.

Each group managed to attract one another and form their own support group.

People who believe the same things will naturally gravitate toward one another. Rich with rich, poor with poor, middle class with middle class. It is indisputable fact.

When the hammering of your belief starts sinking in, you’ll find that you will naturally gravitate toward those who share the same beliefs.

If you find yourself doing that, it’s a very good sign you’re going in the right direction and it shows that your belief is getting hammered in.

You will find yourself looking to those who share the same beliefs for advice and/or support.

For example, if you constantly hammer in the belief that you are a great public speaker, you will naturally start looking for speech classes, books, and tapes. You will buy the books and listen to the tapes. You will go online and search for the nearest Toastmasters club in your area and join. You’ll take a speech class at the local community college and meet lots of other people there who share the same beliefs.

This is another aid in helping you hammer your belief in. When you habitually associate with those who share the same belief, you hammer your belief in even more.

Step 4: Confirm Your Belief in Your Environment

If you’ve been continuously hammering your belief in yourself and surrounding yourself with people who share the same belief, you will start to find confirmation of your belief in your environment.

For example, people who believe in Christianity will go to church on a regular basis (habitually associating with those of the same beliefs) and they will begin to see atheists living a hard life and conclude that living life as a Christian is the best way to live.

On the other hand, atheists will see the wars waged in the name of Christianity and conclude that it must not be the true religion. Atheists will point at the suffering of the world and conclude that God does not exist, thus confirming their beliefs in their environment.

Reality will start to shape according to your belief.

When you find reality starting to shape according to your belief, it is another sign that your belief is sinking in even deeper.

Whenever you see confirmation of your belief in your environment, RECORD IT.

Write it down. Start a belief confirmation journal.

That way, it will serve as a reinforcing mechanism for your belief.

You’ll find that one of the best ways to confirm your belief through the environment is to look to the people who have already done it.

The greatest evidence that something can be done is if another person has done it.

You will begin to see/meet people who have lost weight successfully. You will see them on TV, read about them, maybe even meet them in the gym.

Collect inspirational stories of people who have done it. Refer to them often and confirm your belief to reinforce it whenever you feel it fade.

By confirming your belief in your environment, you drill your belief deep down in yourself even further.

Step 5: Take Action to Reinforce the Belief

All right. So you’ve STATED a SPECIFIC belief, hammered it in yourself continuously, frequently associated with those who share the same belief, and reinforced it by confirming it in your environment.

You are now ready to take action.

The great thing about this is that you’ve already laid the foundation of belief.

Therefore, taking action will not be hard. It will be natural.

Your ability to easily take action is directly related to the degree to which your belief is hammered in you.

Since you’ve already set up a very strong foundation of belief, you will find it easy to take action.

The reason why most people fail in the attainment of their high set goals is because they try to take action FIRST, without taking the time to really set the foundation of FIRST believing that they can.

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

People who want to lose a ton of weight get psyched the first few days, go the gym, run, bike, box, go home, throw out all their junk food and eat healthy for the next few days.

You visit them a week later, they’re sitting on their butt eating buttered popcorn with a big tub of Dreyer’s Cookies and Cream and a large coke with hot dogs and chili cheese fries watching all six Star Wars movies in a row.

If I were to ask you, do you believe you can make $1 today? The answer would be “Yes, of course”. And if I were to say “Show me.”, you would take immediate action by selling your DVDs, books or clothes and easily make that $1 today. You took action because you already had the belief inside of you that you can make $1 today.

If I were to ask you, do you believe you can make $1,000,000 today? The answer would be NO. You have NOT FIRST set the foundation of believing you can, therefore you would not be motivated to take any action. (If the person reading this is Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Tiger Woods, etc., your answer would be “Yes”, because you’ve already set the foundation of believing you can because you have the resources to do so.)

What I’m trying to say is that if you’ve done a good job of drilling the belief into yourself, you will find it easy to take action toward it.

Japanese air fighters during World War II, had drilled down the belief that sacrificing their own lives for their country was the biggest honor, and as a result, were easily able to sacrifice their own lives.

Taking your own life is an extremely hard thing to do. Most people who attempt it won’t go through with it.

But these Japanese kamikaze were easily able to take that action. Why?

Because their beliefs were effectively drilled down deep within them.

If you’ve done a good job of drilling the belief into yourself, you will find it easy to take action toward it.

Step 6: Acknowledge Your Own Progress to Further Reinforce Your Belief

Let’s go back to the belief we were using in this essay.

I will lose 20 pounds of fat.

All right. So you’ve STATED a SPECIFIC belief and hammered it in yourself continuously.

You frequently associated with those who share the same belief by joining Weightwatchers, LA Fitness, etc.

You’ve reinforced your belief by confirming it in your environment by reading stories of people who have done it, meeting them in person, etc.

You’ve also naturally taken action to fulfill it by habitually exercising and eating right.

When you lose that first pound, rejoice! You know you’re on your way now.

If you can lose that one pound, you can lose another, and another, and another, and another until the rest of the 19 pounds are shed.

This is where your belief starts to grow EXPONENTIALLY.

You must feed your belief by acknowledging your own progress and reinforce it so it grows exponentially.

For you math people out there, think of the graph y=e^x. You know it slowly increases along the x axis until it starts to sharply increase exponentially.

Acknowledging your own progress is the catalyst for the exponential increase.

Because this is such an important catalyst, record it. Write it down. Don’t trust it to memory.

Write it down so you can refer to it often to reinforce your belief.

Step 7: Loop steps 2-6.

Believing is analogous to starting a roaring fire. If you’ve ever tried to start a fire, you know it’s not as easy as taking a lighter and putting the flame on a big log.

You have to first gather all the moss, twigs, grass, leaves, and build a small mound where the fire can reside, consume the fodder, and grow strength.

You have to work at it, coax it, feed it, breath on it, until it starts to grow.

When it grows, you have to keep on feeding it with more and more pieces of small wood until you start bringing in the big chunks of wood.

The result is a blazing fire you can use to do anything. You can use it to light other people’s fires. You can use it to burn down walls. You can use it to warm people and give them light.

Even though I’m speaking metaphorically, you know what I’m talking about.

So feed the fire of your belief and loop steps 2-6 to do it.

Conclusion

I believe if you analyze any one of your current beliefs, you will find that it went through exactly the 7 steps listed here.

Try it and see for yourself.

Let’s use an example of a common disempowering belief that a lot of people have.

Bad things always happen to me. I can never catch a break.

Ok, let’s take it through the 7 steps.

1. They’ve sure STATED a SPECIFC belief.

2. They’ve hammered it in all right. They tell it to themselves on a daily basis and they tell their friends and family too, which hammers it in even more.

3. They hang out with other people who believe the same thing. Misery loves company. Birds of a feather flock together.

4. They point to all the bad things in their life to further reinforce their belief. They point at the flat tire they got that day on their way to work or the promotion they didn’t get and conclude that bad things always happen to them.

5. They naturally take action to reinforce their own belief. This is commonly known as self sabotage.

6. They acknowledge all the bad things that are happening to them and use it to further reinforce their own behavior. This is also known as “always looking on the negative side of things.”

7. They repeat steps 2-7, get stuck in a vicious cycle without ever realizing it, and live a life that just plain sucks.

How can they get rid of this disempowering belief?

By creating a NEW one and taking it through the 7 steps.

Step 1: You must state a specific belief FIRST in order to believe it.

Step 2: HAMMER that belief into yourself CONTINUOUSLY. Beliefs are NOT formed overnight.

Step 3: Continually associate with those who share your beliefs.

Step 4: Confirm your belief in your environment

Step 5: Take action to reinforce the belief

Step 6: Acknowledge your own progress to further reinforce your belief

Step 7: Loop steps 2-6.

However, you must realize though that this will not happen overnight.

It takes time, discipline, and perseverance, which is why most people won’t do it.

Now you know the EXACT process of how to believe and in turn, achieve.

I know what must be going on in the mind of some readers right now and that is:

“If you believe, can you really do anything?”

My answer to you is a resounding YES.

100% Certified, Grade A, Y-E-S.

And you know what? So are the answers of Napoleon Hill, Sun Tzu, Michael Korda, Dale Carnegie, and everyone else who has said it time and time again.

You can do anything if you really believe it.

Is it really that hard to swallow?

If Edison did not really believe he could invent the light bulb, we would have nothing to do but sleep when the sun set.

If Graham didn’t really believe he could invent the telephone, we wouldn’t have our precious cell phones today.

If Lance Armstrong didn’t really believe that he could fight testicular cancer and win, we would not have the inspiration he provides today.

If Ghandi didn’t really believe he could bring peace without fighting, who knows what the world would be like today?

I could go on and on, but you get the point.

You can do ANYTHING if you BELIEVE it

It sounds farfetched, but I urge you not be so close minded.

We once thought the world was flat and that the earth was the center of the universe.

I will leave you with the following thought:

If you accept the fact that it doesn’t matter what you believe, because you know if you believe it, you will achieve it, why not hold one of the most powerful beliefs of all, which is:

I can do anything if I believe.

Now you know how.

By: Brian Kim

* Due to the huge amount of email Brian gets on this subject he has created a step-by-step guide on this very subject. I bought it and have read it 3 times. It inspires me my writing every single day.

How to FINALLY Find What You Love to Do AND Get Paid For Doing It: The DEFINITIVE Guide to Finding and Successfully Pursuing Your Passion !

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This article was inspired by Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford University. In it, he says the advice we’ve all heard a thousand times:

“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” - Steve Jobs

Well then, the question naturally arises:

How do you find what you love to do? It’s such a big question.

What absolutely boils my blood is that we hear we should be doing what we love to do all the time, but there’s not any step by step advice out there on how to find what you love to do. The advice that is out there helps to a certain degree, but it’s just a bunch of pieces thrown together with no coherent logical structure or order.

A perfect example is this. In order to find your passion, we are told to ask ourselves: “What would you do if you had a million dollars (tax free)?”

The typical answer ensues: “Well gee, I would put it in an account that yields high interest and live off the interest each year. Then I would move to Hawaii, buy a house, sip margaritas all day, play video games, go to the beach, swim, travel around the world, taste all the cuisines, read the books, play the sports, and on and on and on.”

Does this really help? Not really. Sure, you figured out what your lazy butt likes to do, but it doesn’t really answer the question that’s hidden, which is “How do I make money doing what I love to do?

What’s the result? People working in jobs they hate, feeling trapped because they can’t quit as they rely on that sole source of income to finance a lifestyle tailored to escape their grim reality, drifting aimlessly in life, in short, leading lives of quiet desperation, as so eloquently put by Henry David Thoreau.

Why don’t they just quit their jobs and pursue what they love to do you ask?

Two Reasons.

Reason #1: They don’t know what they love to do.

Reason #2: Fear. They’ve got a lifestyle to uphold, bills to pay for, families to take care of, fear of no steady source of income, fear of what other people might think or say about them, etc. Fear.

Conquer indecision in Reason #1 and ACT, and you will most definitely conquer all fear in Reason #2.

The very fact that you are seeking to find what you love to do (by the very fact you came across this article and started reading it) is a BIG step believe it or not. Many people in their lifetime avoid or do not even seek to find the answer to that question. They hear the question in their head but have become extremely adept at silencing it.

It is extremely important to answer the question on how to find what you love to do.

You must decide what destination to steer your life in. Otherwise, you leave yourself wide open for others to direct your life, as well as at the mercy of the winds and storms of life. If you know where your destination is, the rest is easy.

You will find once you know what you want to do, all uncertainty and burden will be lifted off your shoulders and you will have clear vision as to what your journey is and that journey will truly be joyful.

By the time you finish reading this article, I sincerely hope you experience that.

What about how to make money doing what you love?

The question of how to monetize doing what you love is certainly a valid one. There are bills to pay, stomachs to feed, families to support, etc.

Don’t worry about that for now. That will be covered later in this article.

First things first, you’ve got to find what you love to do.

Why is it so hard to find what you love to do?

The answer is:

It’s not hard at all.

You read right.

It’s not hard at all.

Then why are so many people having difficulty finding what they love to do?

Because they’ve never truly asked themselves.

What amazes me is that there seems to be a stigma attached to spending time with oneself. You have to constantly be doing something, whether it’s going to the game, drinking beer with the buddies, going to that hot party or club downtown, etc. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with doing all that, but I suspect the vast majority of people who engage in this “I have to be doing something every minute because I can’t be by myself” mentality are just putting up a front to show people how satisfying and fulfilling their life is, when in reality, it’s just the opposite. The irony here is that spending time with oneself is EXACTLY what you should be doing to lead a satisfying and fulfilling life.

People think you have to travel around the world, experience new things, etc to find what you love to do. No. You just have to sit down and decide. The answer is already within you. You just have to dig it up and avoid procrastinating. Your brain has absorbed all sorts of information and experiences and it has the answer ready to be unraveled.

Just let it out.

Be honest. Have you actually sat down by yourself with no distractions, with your sole focus on asking yourself what you love to do without picking up your cell phone, surfing the net, watching TV, chatting on AIM, listening to your favorite song, playing solitaire or minesweeper, checking your email, returning a call, getting a drink of water, going to the bathroom, looking at the clock, reading a magazine article, I could go on and on but you get the point. I’m going to go out on a limb and say you haven’t for the sole purpose of you reading this article. Why is that?

Fear of what the answer will be if you ask yourself what you love to do.

The answer is: I don’t know.

But that is exactly why you MUST find out. You’re avoiding the question because you know the answer is you don’t know, but that’s ok. Admitting you don’t know is perfectly fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. You’re way ahead of a ton of other people who learn to quiet the voice within that asks the question of “What do I love to do?”

And let’s say you’re one of the few people who actually specifically know what they love to do. The next thought that pops in their head is “Oh, I can’t make any money off of that.” The seed that was planted never grew.

I hate vague answers. I want clear, logical, definitive answers to questions.

So let’s do this.

Step 1: You WILL find the answer. No doubt.

You will find the answer. You will find it. No doubt.

Approach the question with this mentality and you are sure to find it. How long will it take? It doesn’t matter. Bottom line, you will find the answer.

By doing this, you automatically instill an anti quitting mechanism within yourself, because you know you will find the answer. If you know what you want to do, then you will do it.

For example, if you know you want to arrive in New York, you’ll find ways to get there. You’ll hop a train, bus, or plane going to New York and will arrive in New York.

If you don’t have the cash, you’ll borrow it, or get a job and save up, or get a job as a flight attendant to get there for free. It doesn’t matter how long it will take or what you need to do because you know you’re going to New York.

All your actions onward from the decision that you want to arrive in New York will revolve around getting to New York.

Read that last sentence again.

All your actions onward from the decision that you want to arrive in New York will revolve around getting to New York.

Finding what you love to do = Deciding to arrive in New York.

Step 2: Make a list of your skills and interests in two columns and WRITE THEM DOWN (I’ll explain why you must write things down later):

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a document you can print so you can easily fill in the blanks. You can download it here. KEY is to WRITE THESE DOWN!! I cannot emphasize this enough. Don’t think you can do it all in your head. WRITE IT DOWN.

When I mean by skills is any skill. It could be an intangible skill. Empty your clip here, list EVERY skill you have. It could be programming, making web pages, talking, listening, persuading people, typing, flirting, analyzing, giving speeches, making things easy to understand, whistling, blowing bubbles with your spit, it could be anything. Don’t be bashful. List everything you perceive your skills to be.

On your other column, lists your interests and don’t be shy here as well. List EVERY interest you could possibly think of. Spiders, shoes, hair, makeup, basketball, tennis, thinking of ideas, babysitting, walking, hiking, fireworks, helping people, making fun of people, fishing, tai chi, karate, seashells, seaweed, can openers, anything goes. Yes, I did say can openers. Your interests can also include subjects you are knowledgeable about as well. Computers, economics, biology, baskebtall plays, football plays, magic tricks, etc.

To help you write down more interests, think of what you were interested in at your previous jobs and write them down. Also, think of what you were NOT interested in your previous jobs and write the exact opposite.

Asking yourself the following questions may shed light as to what skills and interests you possess.

If you went in a bookstore, which section do you naturally gravitate toward?

Ask friends for any skills and interests they see in you. You’ll be surprised at how much insight they have on you that you’ve never thought of before.

What do you spend most of your time doing? What do you look forward to doing?

Go back and think of your accomplishments as a child. What kind of skills and interests revolved around your accomplishments?

What did people praise you on doing?

What did your teachers or parents say you had a skill or knack of doing?

Why am I emphasizing skills and interests here?

Skills: Because you’ve got to leverage what you’re strong with. And don’t say you don’t have any. Everybody has skills. You’ve just never sat down and thought about it and wrote it down. By using your skills, you’ve got a head start, a catalyst.

Interests: Simply because you’ve got to love what you do. By including interests, you include another form of an anti quitting mechanism.

Focus on generating as many skills and interests you can possibly think of and WRITE IT DOWN!

You may find that your skills are gravitating toward one or two particular skills. The same may hold true for interests. Keep that in mind for step 3.

Step 3: Set aside some TRUE alone time with no distractions to focus and figure out what you love to do by asking yourself the right questions.

It amazes me how people set aside time for taxes, cooking, watching movies, reading, but when it comes to their own personal future, they NEVER set aside any time. How much MORE time should you set aside to figure out the path that will make you happy?

Ok, you’ve set some private alone time with no distractions; now what?

You must ask yourself an extremely clear question. Clarity is key here. The clearer the question, the easier the answer will be.

For example, if I ask you what 12 times 12 is, the answer comes easily, 144.

However, if I ask, what is some even two digit number times some other even two digit number? Guess how long it’ll take you to answer that question?

Clear questions lead to clear answers.

Another key thing is to WRITE it down. I know you’ve heard it a billion times and it’s so cliché but there’s a reason. Writing things down allows you to easily make connections you’ve never thought of before because you see it on paper. It also allows you to “free room” in your brain for other thoughts because they are put in another container so to speak.

If I ask you, what’s 257 times 852, try doing that in your head vs. writing it down. When you write it down, the answer comes out easier, not to mention more accurate.

If you haven’t already wrote down your skills and interests in the previous step, STOP and DO IT NOW. It won’t do you any good having them in your head.

So, let’s use your alone time to ask yourself a clear question in writing. What is the question you should ask yourself? Is it: “What do I love to do?”

That question is a bit broad, so let’s narrow it down a little. Try asking yourself:

What would I love to do on a daily basis utilizing both my skills and interests that will add significant value to people?

See the difference here? The more detailed and clearer the question, the easier it is to answer it. Why did I add the add value part? Because that will lead you to find a way to make money doing what you love.

By incorporating the question of how to add significant value by utilizing your skills, you automatically filter out all the “common answers” that people come up with when asked what they love to do. Common answers such as: “I love to watch TV.” Or “I love to play video games.” Answers such as that discourage people because they see no way of making money from it.

Adding to that, many people tend to make the mistake of focusing on how to make money. A lot of people fail to realize that money is just a byproduct of adding value in the form of a product or service to people.

When you know how you can add value to people, you’ll know how to get money.

Open up Word or get out a blank sheet of paper and write that question up at the top. Here it is again in case you don’t want to scroll up.

What would I love to do on a daily basis utilizing both my skills and interests that will add significant value to people?

The KEY is to WRITE YOUR ANSWERS DOWN!! I cannot emphasize this enough. Don’t think you can do it all in your head. WRITE IT DOWN.

Looking at the two column list you made in the previous step, start writing down a list of answers. Just write. It doesn’t have to be perfect and it doesn’t have to make sense because sooner or later, you will connect the dots. Here’s a story to illustrate what I’m talking about.

There was a story about a small town with a ski resort which attracted a lot of tourists, which in turn helped the town’s economy. However, when it snowed, the snowfall collected on the power cables, until the weight was enough to collapse the cables, resulting in several power outages. Slowly but surely, tourists stopped coming, so the town held a meeting to discuss how to solve the problem of having snow collect on the power cables. Solutions were tossed out for quite some time.

Then somebody shouted in a loud voice from the back of the room and said “Let’s hang pots of honey on the power cables to make the bears climb up. When the bears climb up and get the honey, their movement will shake the snow off the power cables.”

The audience laughed and somebody else deciding to play along said “How will we refill the pots of honey?” “We’ll use a helicopter”, another person said.

Then the answer dawned upon them. By having a helicopter fly by the power lines, the wind from the propellers would shake the snow off.

The main point here is that answers, no matter how ridiculous they may seem, should not be feared because more often than not, they lead to results. It’s all part of the process.

Even if an answer seems ludicrous, write it down. Write down all your answers. Do it until you have 20 answers and look them over. You will find that as you write down answers and look at them, it will in turn propel you to think of new creative answers that you would not have come up with before.

You will be amazed at all the things you wrote and the different solid creative ideas that come about.

Now the time comes for focus.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the sun and magnifying glass analogy pertaining to focus but I’m going to say it again. If you try to do a bunch of things at once, nothing will get done. If you wave a magnifying glass around on the hottest day, you won’t burn anything. You’ll dissipate all your energy among the trivial many.

By focusing and harnessing all your power, energy, time, focus, thinking, etc. on one goal, you will be amazed at how deep and quickly you can accomplish that. Just as you steady a magnifying glass on a single object, with the hot burning sun rays analogous to your desire, focus, power, energy, time, etc, you will make an impact.

The notion of focus is so important that I’m going to use another analogy. Imagine you’re a cheetah and you see two juicy gazelles grazing in the grass. Spending your time chasing both = no food = death. Hunt one down. It might take time to catch it and kill it, but when you do, you’ll be recharged. You will soon start collecting information on how the gazelles run, which direction they run, where they like to graze, etc, which will help you catch more gazelles in the future, thereby putting you in a favorable cycle. Case in point, focus on one.

So look over your list you just made and choose one idea that seems the most appealing to you. You may find you can combine a few ideas into one idea. Nevertheless, choose one idea that you will garner the greatest satisfaction not just for yourself, but to other people.

You might want to zero in on the ideas that combine your skills and interests that you’ve listed in the beginning. The reason being, psychologically speaking, you’ve probably listed your greatest skills and interests first and then as you started listing them downward, so did your degree of skill and interest. This might not be true. You might have 20 different but equal skills and interests, which if you do, I congratulate you. Just a tip I thought I would throw out.

How Will You Know You’ve Found What You Love To Do?

Does it make you feel good? If you feel it in your gut that you’ve hit the jackpot, you’re right.

If your friend were to bring up the idea you picked, would you be all over it talking about it?

You have to have no reservations about it. If you feel the slightest doubt that it’s not your passion, then it’s not. You must hunger to overcome any obstacles to pursue your passion.

Once you have that, your search is over.

That, right there is what you love to do.

As for how to make money off of it, you might have already found ways when you wrote down your answers. If you still want to find more ways to make money doing what you love, just follow the same steps.

Step 1: Know you will find the answer.

Step 2: Write a clear question, write down the answers, and you will be amazed at the many ways you can make money from it.

I’ll leave the money making question up to you, but it shouldn’t be hard to do.

Now that you know what you love to do and how to make money from it, you must ACT.

That’s a whole other story. Most people get to this stage but don’t act and it doesn’t make any difference in their lives.

By: Brian Kim

*** Due to the HUGE amount of email Brian gets on this subject he has created a step-by-step guide on this very subject. I bought it and have read it at least 4 times. It inspires me my writing.

How to FINALLY Find What You Love to Do AND Get Paid For Doing It: The DEFINITIVE Guide to Finding and Successfully Pursuing Your Passion !

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