Archive for the 'Happiness' Category

How to Find Happiness

November 4th, 2009 by LivingorSurviving.com

1. Desire for the conquest of happiness
The first step on how to find happiness is a conscious choice to be happy. According to psychologists, the intention is the active desire and commitment for someone to be happy. It is the choice of activities that make us happy and the adoption of behaviours that lead us to happiness and not in misery.

For example, you may need to reconsider your values and beliefs. To learn to properly use you’re communication skills or your abilities and skills in the workplace. Moreover, you can choose to be in an environment with people who raise your chances for happiness.

The management of our emotions as well as our relations with others is a key factor on how to find happiness.

When someone takes the decision to be happy, must pursue strategies that will help him in this direction.

2. Gratitude
One strategy that can help is that of ‘exercise of gratitude’, as the psychologists suggest. One may note in a paper the things that feel grateful. This list removes people from the bitterness and despair, and promotes happiness.

3. Forgiveness
To have negative feelings for someone can have adverse effects on our mental and physical health, as many studies show. One way to reduce these effects is the forgiveness of others. This reduces the power of negative events that create bitterness and loathing. It is a big step on how to find happiness.

4. Overcoming negative thoughts and feelings
The fourth way on how to find happiness is to eliminate the negative thoughts and emotions. A person can exercise control over negative emotions and thoughts. There are many ways to do it but needs a lot of work. Someone, for example, may choose meditation, yoga or relaxation techniques to become calm. People can learn to recognize the thoughts that give them feelings of weakness or failure.

5. Money does not buy happiness
This is something you must have heart many times. You cannot find happiness with money. As surveys show, the money does not guarantee happiness. Having overcome the poverty level, the extra money offers little in terms of happiness. Despite the efforts we make to make money, psychologists say that money will not ever guarantee a permanent state of happiness.

6. Strengthening of friendships
The cultivation of friendly relations is still one of the best ways to find happiness. There are only a few antidotes to the unhappiness that are better than friendship and relationship with people who care. Research in Australia revealed that people over 70 years who had the strongest network of friends lived much longer. The social ties, protect us from depression and provide support in difficult times.

7. Being active and not passive
The participation in activities that are meaningful can help you to find happiness. In such cases, the brain is absorbed in activities that are meaningful and challenging for the abilities of the individual. As shown in surveys, watching television provides one of the lowest levels of happiness.

Every useful activity requires increased attention at the beginning before it starts to become enjoyable.

20 hacks on how to find happiness in everyday life activities
Besides the 7 steps, on how to find happiness, there are simple hacks you can do in your everyday life and find happiness. The happiest people in the world are not those who have perfect lives, but those who have learned to enjoy things that do not reach perfection. Some things that you do not pay attention to can give great pleasure in your life and help you find instant happiness. Enjoy the small pleasures of life!

1. Wake up early to watch the sunrise and the night turning into day.

2. Think of those you love, those who love you, which help you and be happy that you had the chance to meet them.

3. Observe the moving clouds, the waves of the sea, and the flowers of your garden.

4. Smile! Enjoy the scent of flowers, the fresh sweet, and your aroma. Taste a bit of chocolate. Observe your child or your beloved while sleeping.

5. Plant a tree, and take care of it.

6. Remember that you have a body: breathe deeply, exercise, and sit on the noses of your feet.

7. Remember a desire that you had as a child. It is never too late to make it.

8. Dress with bright, warm colours.

9. Make someone happy for a day.

10. Erase from your memory the evil.

11. Sit next to the sea and let the waves touch your feet.

12. Go to the cinema and enjoy a movie.

13. Listen to your favorite music. Let yourself be carried away from your favorite melody to remember things that made you impressed.

14. Call a friend who had time to listen.

15. Eliminate your work stress, do things that give you pleasure.

16. Place in your office some flowers, a photograph.

17. Write on a piece of paper how much you love your partner and hide the paper in his/her pocket.

18. Try to do something new: sing a song, play a game, get on a bicycle, taste a new sweet full of calories.

19. Prepare your luggage and go on vacation by closing your mobile for a weekend.

20. Walk in the rain. Look at the sky, feel the rain!

How to find happiness is a process that you can control, is not something that depends entirely on luck. Some people are lucky enough to have genes that promote happiness. Other people have to work hard and be optimistic that eventually they will find happiness in their lives.

- by Change Your Life Hacks

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How Money CAN Buy You Happiness

October 27th, 2009 by LivingorSurviving.com

I think that the relationship between money and happiness is one of the most interesting, most complicated, and most sensitive questions in the study of happiness.

Studies show, unsurprisingly, that money’s impact on happiness is greatest when you have the least amount of money.

But if you’re one of the lucky people who has enough money to cover the basics – food, shelter, even a car — does that mean that money can’t make a difference to your happiness?

Some happiness experts argue yes, but I think that’s…ridiculous.

The secret to using money to buy happiness is to spend money in ways that support your happiness goals.

Imagine that you have a certain amount of extra cash. How should you spend it?

One option: a fancy new TV set. Enticing. The fact is, however, that the new TV won’t give you much happiness bang for your buck. The “hedonic treadmill” describes our tendency to adapt quickly to changed circumstances — which means you’ll get a big kick out of the TV for a short while, but you’ll soon take it for granted.

The hedonic treadmill means that buying STUFF isn’t very satisfying, but there are ways to spend money that are likely to help give you enduring happiness. Spend money to…

1. Strengthen bonds with family and friends. Studies show that having close relationships is one of the most important elements of a happy life. Pay for a plane ticket to visit your brother’s new baby, go to your college reunion, throw a Superbowl party.

2. End marital conflict. If you’re constantly arguing about the unkempt lawn, or the moldering laundry, see if you can throw some money at the problem. Can you hire the teenager down the street to clean out the garage?

3. Upgrade your exercise. Studies show that one of the quickest and surest ways to boost your mood is to exercise. If spending money on a new iPod, a more convenient gym, or a new pair of yoga pants will make it easier to get yourself off the couch, that’s a good happiness investment.

4. Think about fun. Ask yourself – and be honest – what’s fun for you? Fishing, bird-watching, travel, hunting through flea markets, experimenting in the kitchen, skiing, scrapbooking? Make sure that your calendar reflects some activities that you are doing just for FUN. For happiness, you’re better off using your money to have a great experience than to gain a possession.

5. Serenity and security. Peace of mind is critical to happiness, so use the money to pay down your debts or to add to your savings.

6. Pay more for healthy food. It’s a sad fact that fruits, vegetables, and healthy food are more expensive than fast food, but eating healthfully will pay off in the long run, in terms of your good health and energy.

7. Spend the money on someone else. One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make someone else happy. Think about ways you could spend the money that would make a big difference to someone else — whether someone you know, or a cause you support. How many new books could the library’s children’s room add to the shelves?

8. Think about YOUR priorities. Two years ago, some friends decided to skip an anniversary trip so they could use the money to buy a super-expensive Dux bed. I thought this was a bad idea, because the “hedonic treadmill” would mean that they’d quickly get used to the new bed. Oh, no. They still rave about their Dux bed. So maybe that fancy new TV set would mean a lot to you, although I, for one, would hardly notice the difference. As always, the key to any happiness question is to know yourself, and what makes YOU happy. 

– by Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

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14 Ways to Start Your Week Happy

August 24th, 2009 by LivingorSurviving.com

Did you know that about 40% of our happiness is influenced by what we do deliberately? Here are easy ways to spark a smile.

Little Ways to Lift Your Mood
Add a few of these instant get-happy tricks to your arsenal, so you can whip them out whenever you need a burst of bliss.

Experts say you won’t find true joy in a paycheck or miracle wrinkle-remover. According to happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, of the University of California, Riverside, life circumstances account for only 10% of happiness. Half depends on our genetic “set point,” which is kind of like the weight our body bounces back to after that crash diet. And about 40% of our happiness is influenced by what we do deliberately to make ourselves happy. Next time you need to turn around a hellish day at work or brighten up a draggy afternoon, try one of these proven tips to lift your mood and make you smile.

1. Flip through Old Photos
When you’re feeling down, break out your kids’ baby albums or pics from your favorite vacation.
It may actually make you feel happier than a square of Godiva chocolate would! That’s what researchers at the United Kingdom’s Open University found after they examined how much people’s moods rose after eating a chocolate snack, sipping an alcoholic drink, watching TV, listening to music, or looking at personal photos.

The music and chocolate left most people’s moods unchanged; alcohol and TV gave a slight lift (1%), but the winner by a long shot was viewing pictures, which made people feel 11% better. To keep your spirits high at work, upload your favorite pics to your computer and set them as a rotating screensaver. Or splurge on a frame that flips through digital photos; amazon.com has plenty of options at a wide range of prices.

2. Munch on Nuts
For a mood-lifting snack, stash walnuts in your desk drawer.
Or sneak salmon into your salad for lunch. They’re both packed with omega-3 fats, which may make people less prone to depression—and easier to get along with, say researchers from the University of Pittsburgh. They measured the blood levels of omega-3 fats (a reliable indicator of consumption) of 106 healthy adults and gave them psychological tests. Those with the highest omega-3 blood levels scored 49 to 58% better on the tests than those with the lowest blood levels.

3. Inhale a Calming Scent
Fill your office with a fragrant candle or diffuser to calm down during a deadline-packed day.
In an Austrian study, researchers wafted the smell of oranges before some participants and lavender before others. The two groups felt less anxious, more positive, and calmer when compared with participants who were exposed no fragrance at all. Add a few drops of either oil to a room diffuser (we like the Scentball, available at amazon.com) and use in your office on stressful days.

4. Open Your Shades
To feel happier in seconds, let the sunlight stream in when you first wake up.
One study of more than 450 women found that those who got the most light, particularly in the morning, reported better moods and sleep. Got more time? Eat breakfast near a window that gets plenty of daylight, and put exercise equipment near a bright view. Some researchers speculate that combining exercise with morning light exposure may amplify light’s beneficial effects on mood, sleep, and alertness, says Anthony Levitt, MD, a University of Toronto light researcher.

5. Walk around the Block
If you work in a windowless office, make sure you step out to see the sun a few times throughout the day.
“A couple of studies show that people who get more light exposure during the day have fewer sleep problems and less depression, and evidence suggests that light can keep you alert and productive,” says Daniel Kripke, MD, a University of California, San Diego, light and sleep expert.

If you have more time, a longer bout of exercise may also spark a smile. “Lots of people skip working out when their moods aren’t ideal because they don’t have the mental energy to switch gears,” says mental health and exercise expert Jack Raglin, PhD, of Indiana University. “But the trick lies in finding the right workout to match the mood you’re in.” When you’re battling blues, try something low-key and mindless. “Studies have shown that even mild exercise—about 40% of your max heart rate—can lift your mood,” says Raglin. “So if you’re not up for the usual high-energy stuff, do some leisure activity you enjoy, such as digging in your garden or walking in a park. View it as mental recreation, not exercise.”

If you’re angry, pick something that makes you focus. “As tempting as it may be, skip the kickboxing,” Raglin advises. “You can’t punch away anger. Instead, do something that involves your mind and keeps you from focusing and ruminating on what has you angry. Play racquetball, or take an aerobics class you’ve never tried. Learning new moves will free your mind from what’s upsetting you.”

6. Clear Away Clutter
Disorganized heaps of paper in your cube or on the kitchen counter can make you anxious.
For some, “clutter is a reminder of things that should be getting done but aren’t,” says Elaine Aron, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. “It can make you feel like a failure.” For a quick fix, straighten up a few surfaces in your office or in the areas of the house where you spend the most time. “It’s when every bit of space is messy that it’s most disturbing,” says Aron. Don’t bother to organize unless you have a chunk of time. Instead, arrange papers, books, and other detritus of daily living in neat piles or store them in baskets. “Just the illusion of order is enough to ease the mind,” she says.

7. Think Fast
Turn your thoughts into a race—it can lift the blues in minutes, says Princeton University psychologist Emily Pronin, PhD.
For example, when your mother-in-law is driving you crazy, give yourself 30 seconds to make a list of all the ways she’s been helpful to you in the past—you’ll feel better fast. (If nothing nice comes to mind, quickly jot down other ways she bugs you; speed thinking negative thoughts can still improve your mood, Pronin found.) Researchers believe that rapid thinking may release feel-good brain chemicals—or it could just be a helpful distraction.

8. Cue Up YouTube
A hearty laugh produces a chemical reaction that instantly elevates your mood, reduces pain and stress, and boosts immunity, studies show

Stanford University researchers literally saw this on fMRI scans, where they traced changes in brain activity to a region called the nucleus accumbens (NAcc), which rewards behaviors such as eating and sex (and laughing) by releasing dopamine, a natural opiate. When stress builds up or you feel as though you may snap at any minute, make yourself giggle: Watch a funny video clip online, or stop by the office of a wisecracking pal for a quick chat.

Also, keep an eye out for the unexpectedly silly side of daily life to combat negative thoughts. “At the end of a recent worry-filled day, I turned on a news channel that referred to its meteorologists as the Weather Team That Tells the Truth,” says Thomas Crook, PhD, a clinical psychologist and former research program director at the National Institute of Mental Health. “I thought the implication that other weather teams lie was hilarious. I laughed and immediately felt my worries melt away.”

9. Rethink Your Retail Therapy
Before you plunk down that credit card at the mall to feel better, read this.

To get more happiness for your dollar, splurge for experiences instead of stuff. Psychologist Miriam Tatzel, PhD, of Empire State College surveyed 329 shoppers and found that “experiencers”—consumers who are easygoing about spending on a great meal out or a concert, for example—are happier than those who lavish their money on material goods such as clothes or jewelry. Added bonus: Experiences allow you to spend quality time with family and friends; a new pair of shoes is a solo endeavor.

10. Put On a Happy Face
There’s good evidence that just smiling and looking like you’re happy will make you sunnier.
Studies show that even muscular changes in your face can elevate your happiness, as can good posture, says Lyubomirsky. Call it the blush effect: To apply blush to your cheekbones properly, you need to smile. Smiling works, she says, because “if you act like you’re a happier person, you can experience all these positive social consequences. You make more friends. People are nicer to you

11. Zone Out
Rest, peace, quiet, and solitude can also create joy.
Some research suggests that we may have an inborn need to zone out once in a while. In an exploratory study, researchers observed three babies who turned away or blocked their eyes in response to overstimulation. Mothers who recognized this behavior and gave their children needed downtime had happier, easier babies. Give yourself a time-out during a hectic day: Push your chair away from your desk, kick up your feet, and close your eyes. Think about something that takes your mind off the daily grind, like fun plans for the weekend.

12. Chat Up a Friendly Neighbor
Socializing with a cheerful person in your neighborhood increases the likelihood that you’ll be happy too.
Surprisingly, this had even more of a mood-boosting impact than spending time with an upbeat sibling, according to a recent study. How often you get together matters most, say the researchers: People who live within half a mile of buoyant friends increase their odds of being happy by 42%. If your friends live farther away (within a 2-mile radius), the chances drop to 22%—probably due to fewer get-togethers. Other research found that “very happy” people visit with neighbors 7 more times a year than unhappy people.

13. Chop Veggies
It’s a favorite unwinding technique of Andrew Weil, MD, a Prevention advisor and leading integrative medicine expert.
After a particularly emotional and stressful day during his residency, Weil went straight to the supermarket. “I bought ingredients and spent several hours cooking in the kitchen. There was something about chopping vegetables, making order, creating something wonderful—that whole process neutralized my negative mental state,” he says. On the menu: soup, vegetable lasagna, and poached salmon. Weil still uses the method—along with exercise, yoga, and meditation—today. “I still like to cook; it’s a very satisfying feeling.”

14. Do a Good Deed
People who volunteer are likelier to be happier than those who don’t—regardless of how much money they make or other socioeconomic factors.
Pitching in for a regular cause in your community is ideal, but you can make a difference in other ways in mere minutes. Join the Love/Avon Army of Women, a new initiative Prevention is supporting to help prevent breast cancer; become an organ donor; or sign up for a charity walk. Researchers believe volunteering boosts happiness because it increases empathy, which makes you appreciate all the good stuff in your own life.

by Prevention.com

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How To Live Life

June 23rd, 2009 by LivingorSurviving.com

Because there is a big difference between living and merely existing…

  • Educate yourself until the day you die. – The time and energy you invest in your education will change your life.  You are a product of what you know.  The more knowledge you acquire, the more control you have over your life.
  • Take good care of your body. – Your body is the greatest tool you’ll ever own.  It impacts every step you take and every move you make.  Nourish it, exercise it, and rest it.
  • Spend as much time as possible with the people you love. – Human beings are emotional creatures.  Family and close friends makeup the core of your emotional support system.  The more you nurture them, the more they will nurture you.
  • Be a part of something you believe in. – This could be anything.  Some people take an active role in their local city council, some find refuge in religious faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in, and others find passion in their careers.  In each case the psychological outcome is the same.  They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in.  This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives.
  • Excel at what you do. – There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right.  Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies.  Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.
  • Live below your means. – Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Always live well below your means.
  • Be self-sufficient. – Freedom is the greatest gift.  Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.
  • Build a comfortable, loving household. – Home is where the heart is.  Your home should be comfortable and lined with love.  It should be a place that brings the whole family together.
  • Always be honest with yourself and others. – Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless.
  • Respect elders.  Respect minors.  Respect everyone. – There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
  • Mix it up.  Try different things. – Seek as many new life experiences as possible and be sure to share them with the people you love.  After all, your life’s story is simply a string of experiences.  The more experiences you have, the more interesting your story gets.
  • Take full ownership of your actions. – Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
  • Over-deliver on all your promises. – Some people habitually make promises they are just barely able to fulfill.  They promise perfection and deliver mediocrity.  If you want to boost your personal value, do the exact opposite. Slightly under-sell your capabilities so that you’re always able to over-deliver.  It will seem to others like you’re habitually going above and beyond the call of duty.
  • Listen more.  Talk less. – The more you listen and the less you talk, the more you will learn and the less you will miss.
  • Focus more on less. – Think in terms of Karate: A black belt seems far more impressive than a brown belt.  But does a brown belt really seem any more impressive than a red belt?  Probably not to most people.  Remember that society elevates experts high onto a pedestal.  Hard work matters, but not if it’s scattered in diverse directions.  Focus on less and master it all.
  • Exploit the resources you do have access to. – The average person is usually astonished when they see a physically handicap person show intense signs of emotional happiness.  How could someone in such a restricted physical state be so happy?  The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have.  Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.
  • Savor the natural joys of simple pleasures. – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the best things in life are free.  They come in the form of simple pleasures and they appear right in front of you at various locations and arbitrary times.  They are governed by Mother Nature and situational circumstance and captured by mindful awareness.  It’s all about taking a moment to notice the orange and pink sunset reflecting off the pond water as you hold hands with someone you love.  Noticing these moments and taking part in them regularly will bring unpredictable bursts of happiness into your life.
  • Reflect on your goals and direction. – Not doing so is committing to wasteful misdirection.  The process of self reflection helps maintain a conscious awareness of where you’ve been and where you intend to go, giving you the ability to realign your trajectory when necessary.
  • Leave time for spontaneous excursions. – Sometimes opportunity knocks at unexpected times.  Make sure you have enough flexibility in your schedule to respond accordingly.
  • Be here now. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

Marc and Angel Hack Life

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How To Be Happy - Increase Your Happiness Today

May 9th, 2009 by LivingorSurviving.com

I’m a nonstop happiness seeker. On long drives, I don’t ask my husband, “Are we there yet?” I meditate on life and ask myself, “Am I happy yet?”

Here’s my happiness inventory: I have a great house, but the toilets gurgle incessantly. My 9-year-old son is adorable, but has nerve-shredding sleep habits. My husband of 21 years is worth at least his weight in Godiva, but I’m pretty sure I see my dry cleaner more often.

My main happiness inhibitor is that if the glass is half full, I often empty it, puncturing good moods by imagining worst-case scenarios. If everything’s fine but I have the sniffles, I immediately envision my illness escalating. I picture myself bedridden for days, with my house, son, and husband all hideously neglected.

So do I have a serious shot at becoming happier? Yes, say researchers, who’ve found new scientific evidence of what really boosts our moods. Here, their best strategies:

Take a Pass on Perfection
When surveyed in the 1970s, most women reported being happier than men. Today, the opposite is true. What gives? One theory is that, over the past few decades, females have gone from holding one job (running the house) to two jobs (working full-time plus handling the housework). And a fast way to trigger unhappiness is bigger to-do lists — not to mention mounting pressure for women who want to do it all.

What’s more, striving for an out-of-reach goal (like trying to be a star employee; patient, positive parent; and ever-understanding wife — all at the same time) can backfire if you blame yourself when you fall short, explains Alice Domar, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of the upcoming Be Happy Without Being Perfect.

Striving for constant contentment is equally unrealistic. Domar lays it on the line: “If you think you should feel happy nearly all the time, it’s going to make you miserable.”

Your strategy: Manage your expectations. A new study led by the University of Virginia looked at how everyday events (both positive and negative) affected people’s overall daily satisfaction. Researchers tracked four groups: European Americans, Asian Americans, Japanese, and Koreans. The study showed that European Americans reported feeling happier than the other groups did, but needed double the number of positive events to help them rebound from negative ones. The study authors suspect that a downside of feeling happy most of the time is that you expect to feel that way all the time. So when good things happen, it seems normal, but when bad things happen, it can seem catastrophic.

Find Your Balance
Psychologists generally describe happiness as a sense of well-being or satisfaction with your life. They say there’s fun without meaning (think foot massages) and meaning without fun (like 2 a.m. feedings), and happiness comes from some combo of the two. If you consistently choose fun without meaning, you’ll likely feel empty inside. But if you too often focus solely on lofty goals, you could wind up depleted and resentful. (Note to self: I will not feel guilty the next time I devote my morning to catching up on episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.)

Don’t Try to Buy Happiness
Sure, money helps, especially if you start out poor and then do better. But a nationwide study published last year in Social Indicators Research found that those who avidly pursued possessions were less satisfied with their friendships, families, jobs — even their health — than participants who were less materialistic.

Switch Gears
A study at the University of Missouri-Columbia tracked hundreds of subjects who experienced a change in their circumstances (like moving to a nicer place) and in their activities (like pursuing a new hobby). A few months later, those who changed their activities reported more gains in well-being. One possible reason: A shift in circumstances often involves a onetime event, which can fade into the background of our lives, says study author Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., who wrote The How of Happiness. Exploring a new interest, on the other hand, is inherently entertaining, and may lead you to discover other activities over time.

Lose Yourself in the Moment
If you’re in a bad mood, try to find your “flow.” The word describes a “state of effortless concentration and enjoyment,” writes Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., a leading expert in positive psychology, which focuses on increasing one’s joys and strengths. For some people, achieving flow means whooshing down a ski slope; for me, it’s working my way through a crossword puzzle. What delivers the most happiness: whatever activity energizes you and makes you feel like time is flying by — or even makes you lose track of it.

Develop an Attitude of Gratitude
In a Japanese study of 175 people published last year, happy and unhappy participants experienced the same number of negative moments each day. The big difference: The contented subjects had more frequent and intense positive moments.

One way to feel happier is to recognize good things when they happen. If you have trouble counting your blessings, try keeping a gratitude journal. Several studies show that people who record what they appreciate experience greater happiness, less anxiety — and even better sleep. Gratitude, I’ve found, is also an excellent antidote to grumpiness.

Share the Love
The Japanese study also found that contented people’s happy experiences most often involved connecting with someone. In an earlier study, positive-psychology researchers Ed Diener, Ph.D., and Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., discovered a similar pattern. “One hundred percent of the very happy people had good relationships,” says Diener. It didn’t matter if the strong bond was with a partner, a friend, or a parent — the important thing was that the person had at least two out of three of these essential relationships. “We have what looks like a necessary condition for greater happiness,” says Diener.

It’s not surprising, then, that marriage also correlates very strongly with overall happiness. In a National Opinion Research Center poll of 3,500 people that was released last year, 42 percent of the marrieds reported that they were very happy, compared with only 19 percent of the singles. What’s going on here? Experts theorize that people benefit from having a reliable emotional partner in their life.

The fastest way to improve your relationships: Set aside inviolable time for them, experts suggest. (I’m on top of it; my husband and I just scheduled a date night.)

Help Yourself by Helping Others
After recovering from a bout of depression, philosopher John Stuart Mill said, “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.” He came to believe that “those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind…. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way.”

Helping others makes us feel capable and full of purpose, experts note, and it lets us quit stressing about our own problems for a while. (I can attest to this; I’ll bet you can, too.) In a study published in 2006 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers could literally see the joys of giving. Subjects were hooked up to a brain-imaging mechanism and asked to click yes or no to charity-giving opportunities. When they donated, the machine registered a boost in blood flow to a part of the brain associated with recognizing a reward.

That doesn’t mean you have to book your already hectic schedule with endless community-service commitments. Small gestures work, too, says Stephen Post, Ph.D., co­author of Why Good Things Happen to Good People. You could pay the highway toll for the car behind you, or try to be pleasant to everyone you encounter for a day (it’s harder than it sounds).

Choose to Choose Less
Having a lot of options isn’t always so great, says Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice. In a 2006 study of job seekers, he found that “maximizers” (those who searched until they found the best position) were less happy with their choices than “satisficers” (those who took the first good one).

Schwartz explains that too much choice can cause anxiety and lead people to blame themselves if their decisions don’t turn out as well as they expected. His recommendation: Learn how to accept good-enough options.

Introduce Your Body to Your Mind
Fred B. Bryant, Ph.D., coauthor of Savoring, says you can increase happiness just by articulating it. In several experiments, subjects instructed to visibly express their reactions while watching a funny movie reported greater pleasure than their more subdued counterparts. So get your body involved when you’re feeling good. Jump up and down or dance around. (Evidence that this technique isn’t as silly as it sounds: I unleashed a self-congratulatory “yahoo!” after my last set of tummy crunches and felt a lot more revved up.)

Be More Forgiving
A conciliatory attitude can help counteract feelings of depression, powerlessness, and anxiety about future hurts. What’s more, in a 2006 study of over 200 subjects, Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good, found that forgiveness training even reduced participants’ stress by 25 percent.

So how do you let go of anger and resentment toward others? Take into account the stresses that contributed to the wrongdoer’s behavior, remember his positive traits, and consider requesting an apology. And if your motivation starts to falter, keep in mind that forgiving is really a gift you give yourself.

Pick Out the Positives
“Many people say things happen for the best. I don’t agree with that,” says Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., a Harvard University psychology professor and author of Happier. “But some people are able to make the best of things that happen — and that’s a key to happiness.” One way to do this: Reframe your thoughts. This wisdom struck me last year, when my father was in the hospital with heart disease. Instead of dreading my visits with him, I started to see them for what they were: my last, precious chances to connect with him before he passed away. It also gave me the opportunity to care for him as he had done for me when I was a child.

Once we start trying to reframe, it can quickly become a habit. In Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert, Ph.D., writes that humans have “a remarkable ability to manufacture happiness. For example, when people in experiments are randomly awarded one of two equally valuable prizes, they quickly come to believe that the prize they won was more valuable than the prize they lost.”

Oh, Happy Day! Schedule time for some of these joy builders, and you’ll be more content in just 24 hours.

7:30 a.m.
Hit the gym. Regular 30-minute aerobic workouts fight depression and anxiety just as well as our most powerful psychiatric drugs, says Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.

8:30 a.m.
Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. A 2006 Harvard Medical School study reported that people felt more relaxed and upbeat after having fresh blooms around for just a few days.

12:00 p.m.
Eat a healthy lunch and schedule a doctor’s appointment. Poor health is the strongest predictor of unhappiness, a 2006 Pew Research Center survey found.

3:00 p.m.
Reward yourself after finishing a tough task. This works because those final moments are crucial to how we remember our experiences. In one study, colonoscopy patients reported less discomfort if the tip of the scope remained in place after the procedure, even though it prolonged the exam, because the end was less unpleasant.

5:30 p.m.
Say thanks. In his extensive research, Authentic Happiness author Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., found that gratitude was strongly associated with life satisfaction. Make a “gratitude visit,” he suggests. “Write a letter to someone you want to thank and then read it to them face-to-face.”

7:00 p.m.
Plan something special. A study from Loma Linda University in California found that when participants just anticipated watching their favorite funny movie, their endorphin levels increased by 27 percent. Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, Ph.D., adds, “When subjects are offered a trip now or next month, they pick the later date to savor the anticipation. We’re the only species that does that.”

9:00 p.m.
Meditate. Try something simple, like counting your breaths for a few minutes. Researchers have conducted several studies with Buddhist monks who were experienced meditators, using machines to measure their brain activity. They found that the monks’ brains showed higher activity levels in areas associated with contentment.

10:00 p.m.
Get ready for bed. Experts note that to prepare for a good night’s rest, you should start unwinding an hour beforehand. Remember that if you don’t get enough sleep — seven to nine hours for most adults — your pleasures wane, and you’re likely to have spats with loved ones (who are, after all, essential to our happiness).

By Stacy Weiner  - GoodHouseKeeping.com

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