If you’re like most people, you have a “make-‘em-and-break-‘em” attitude toward New Year’s resolutions. Your intentions are noble—you believe you will make more time for yourself this year, and lose two pants sizes, and take a brisk walk every evening after dinner. No more couch potato lifestyle for you—2012 is the year when you will, as Oprah coaxed us, be your best self!

Nearly half of us ring in the New Year with visions of a thinner, fitter year ahead. Unfortunately, a recent survey found, 35 percent of Americans break their resolutions by the end of January. The key to success, according to the American Council on Exercise, is to swap grandiose ambitions for a sweeping health overhaul for two or three smart, specific and attainable goals. That means making promises you can keep. Here’s a look at five of the most popular resolutions—plus tips for making them work.

1) Lose weight. One strategy that makes it easier to shed those stubborn extra pounds is tracking what you eat. In a study by Kaiser Permanente’s Center for Health Research, people who kept a daily food diary had double the weight loss of those who didn’t keep any records. It’s also important to avoid diet foods, surprising as that may sound: Research shows that eating low-fat foods doesn’t lead to overall calorie reduction, while a new study by University of Texas Health Science Center shows that people who drink two or more diet sodas daily have up to five times the increase in waist size over a decade than those who avoid diet drinks. Instead, down two glasses of water before each meal. A new study found that people who do so lose more weight—and are more likely to keep it off a year later—than those who don’t increase their water intake.

2) Fit in Fitness. The idea of exercising every day for the rest of your life can be daunting, so take a smaller view. Say you’ll do it for a month—and at the end of that 30 days, try to take that success forward for another 30 days. Also figure out what would make exercise more palatable to you—would dancing to music make it more of a “fun break”? Would an exercise buddy help—or even a group session? Making a commitment to another person to exercise together can improve motivation. And think of simple ways to move: if you use the bus to commute, get off one stop early and walk the rest of the way. March in place during TV commercials, or lift free weights during those short breaks. Walk your kids to school. And wear a pedometer: Doing so causes people to take about 2,000 extra step (one extra mile) per day, a study at Stanford University found.

3) Quit smoking. Contrary to what you might think, it’s possible to snuff out this deadly addiction without gaining weight, a recent study of Air Force recruits found, if quitting is coupled with a healthy diet and vigorous exercise. To cope with the hand-to-mouth habit of smoking, try chewing on a cinnamon stick, sugarless gum, carrots, or celery sticks. A key reason why people overeat after quitting tobacco is a craving for “oral gratification.” It’s also helpful to brush for two minutes after each meal and snack. Use mouthwash twice a day and enjoy the clean sensation in your mouth. Quitting smoking cuts risk for periodontal disease and brightens your smile.

4) Tame tension.  Chronic stress takes a toll on every organ in the body, including the heart, by repeatedly activating the well-known “fight-or-flight” response. Listening to joyful music is both relaxing and beneficial to blood vessel function, a study at University of Maryland reports, while an earlier study by the same researchers found similar benefits to laughter. Try laughter yoga, a popular exercise program that combines self-triggered mirth with yogic breathing to draw oxygen deep into the body. Also try the cuddle cure: Researchers from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that holding hands—or even a 10-second hug from your significant other—significantly reduces tension, heart rate, and blood pressure. And it feels good!

5) Learn something new. Like your body, your brain needs exercise. Research shows that highly educated people are less likely to suffer memory loss, perhaps because keeping the brain active boosts “cognitive reserve,” allowing it to work efficiently even if some cells are damaged. Among the activities that help keep neurons nimble are learning a foreign language, taking courses at a community college, and mastering a new skill. Think totally outside your comfort zone: If you like to read, consider photography lessons. And ask questions: Letting your curiosity guide you is the number one way to learn something new every day.

by Lisa Collier Cool

Change is essential for your growth and development as a person. Without change, as the old Texas adage goes, “If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get is all you ever got.” Your ability to maximize your performance and productivity depends on your ability to change in positive ways.

If there is something that you don’t like about yourself or you find something that is interfering with the pursuit of your goals, well, just change it. Seems simple, doesn’t it? But, as anyone who has ever tried to change knows, it is far from simple or easy. Change can be slow, frustrating, and painful; it can also be engrossing and inspiring. Whether being a better boss, building your confidence in a new job, or dealing with work stress more effectively, change is the most difficult-yet rewarding-thing you will ever do.So why is change so difficult? And how can change be fostered?

Obstacles to Change

There are four obstacles that prevent people from changing (or even attempting to change). First, like all of us, you bring good things into adulthood from your childhood and, as a human being, you likely also bring some not-so-good things, what is commonly called “baggage.” The most frequent types of baggage include low self-esteem, perfectionism, fear of failure, need for control, anger, and need to please. This baggage, causes you to think, feel, and behave based on who you were as a child rather than the very different person you are now as an adult. Most of this baggage causes you to react to the world in a defensive way that can sabotage your efforts to achieve success.

Second, deeply ingrained habits in the way you think, experience emotions, and behave arise out this baggage, much like when athletes continue to practice bad technique, they become very good at the bad technique and that bad technique is what is executed in competition. In other words, you react to the world in a certain way because that’s the way you always have; these habits produce knee-jerk reactions that are no longer healthy or adaptive.

Third, you don’t make an effort to change because of negative emotions that you are experiencing, such as fear, anger, sadness, or frustration. For example, many people don’t change out of the fear of failure. They might think, “What if I can’t change, then I’ll prove myself to be even more of a failure than I am now.” They then say, “I’ve been this way for a long time and I’m getting by, so it’s not worth the risk.”

Fourth, you create an environment that helps you best manage your baggage, habits, and emotions. The people you surround ourselves with and the activities you participate in give you a sense of comfort and security. Unfortunately, this environment may, at a minimum, not support change or, at worst, discourage change.

In all four cases, remaining where you are has the effect of self-sabotage. You don’t perform up to your abilities and you don’t achieve your goals. You feel stuck, frustrated, and helpless to change your lot in life.

Foundation of Change

Yes, change is difficult, despite the “quick and without any effort” claims of motivational speakers and self-help books. But I’m sorry to say that change just doesn’t work that way. In attempting to change, you are swimming against the tide of many years of baggage, habits, emotions, and environment. But if you can overcome those obstacles and commit yourself to a new direction in your life, amazing things can happen.

Epiphany. Because change is so difficult, it must come from a very deep and personal place inside of you. Change starts with a simple, yet powerful, epiphany: “I just can’t continue down this same road any longer.” When you experience this realization in the most visceral way, then you have taken the first step toward change.

Emotions. Just as emotions can act as obstacles to change, they can also provide a powerful impetus to change. Whether positive, such as hope, inspiration, or pride, or negative, such as fear (of losing a job), emotions can be potent motivators for change.

Courage. Courage may be the single most important characteristic for changing your life because change requires risk and risk is scary because you may fail (of course, the other side of the coin is that only by taking risks can you truly succeed.). Courage to change means the willingness to acknowledge aspects of yourself that you may not know about or may not like, and to confront “bad” emotions you may feel as you learn about yourself. Courage enables you to reject your old self, chart a new course in your life, and then “boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Change is much like jumping into cold water. It will be a shock at first, and you will initially regret having taken the plunge. But, after you are in the water for a short while, you begin to adapt to the coldness. What was then intimidating is now approachable. What had been unknown is now familiar. What was then painful is now invigorating.

Leap of Faith. Unfortunately, there is no certainty in change. You don’t know if, when, or how you might change. And that lack of certainty can be truly terrifying. Yet, you must be willing to accept that uncertainty if you want to change. The only way to overcome your fears is to take a leap of faith. A great philosopher once said, “You do or you do not. There is no try.” No, it wasn’t Aristotle or Socrates who spoke those simple, yet profound words; the great thinker was…Yoda, the Jedi Master of Star Wars.

This leap of faith involves having a basic belief in yourself and a fundamental trust in the vision of who, what, and where you want to be in the future. The leap of faith involves your commitment to creating a new and healthy life and the belief that good things will happen when you do make that change.

Commitment: The above contributors to the foundation of change result in commitment to change, an unwavering dedication to resist the obstacles and pursue your goals. This resolve will motivate you to engage in the moment-to-moment process of change even when you are tired, bored, and frustrated.

Process of Change

The steps I just described set the stage for change, but the real work lies ahead. Change can be scary, tiring, frustrating, and repetitious. And change takes time. How much, you might ask. It depends on your ability to remove the four obstacles to change and embrace the foundation of change I discussed above and your ability to commit to the minute-to-minute process of change. But I have found that when someone makes a deep commitment to change, they can expect to see positive change in 6-12 months.

Identify your obstacles. The first step you must take in the change process is to identify the obstacles that are preventing you from changing. Perhaps the most difficult part of identifying your obstacles involves exploring your inner world. True change cannot just occur on the surface or outside of you. Change means not only understanding who you are, but also why you are who you are. You need to “look in the mirror” and specify what the baggage, habits, emotions, and environment are that are keeping you from your goals. Understanding these obstacles takes the mystery out of who you are and what has been holding you back. It also gives you clarity on what you need to change. These explorations of your inner world liberate you to move from the path you are on and to finally put the past behind you-when most of your life you have been putting your past in front of you.

Change goals. Establishing clear objectives of the changes you want to make will help you focus your efforts and direct your energy toward those changes. These goals should identify what areas you want to change, how you will change them, and the ultimate outcome you want to achieve. Moreover, the goals should be specific, objective, and time defined.

Action steps. Action steps describe the particular actions you will take to achieve your change goals. They may range from adhering to an exercise regimen to maintaining emotional control in a crisis situation to staying focused when surrounded by distractions. Action steps give you the specific tools you need to act on the world in the present and to give you alternative actions that counter your old baggage, habits, emotions, and environment.

Forks in the road. Taking the action steps and achieving your change goals depends on recognizing the good and bad forks in the road, having the determination to resist your baggage, habits, emotions, and environment, and choosing to take the good road.

Three P’s. One of the most difficult aspects of change is the need to make it a day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and minute-to-minute process in which you commit yourself to change (Every time you miss an opportunity for change, you further ingrain your old baggage, habits, and emotions). A helpful reminder of this necessity is what I call the Three P’s.

The first P, persistence, means you must maintain your determination (a mindset) and drive (your actions) to achieve your goals consistently.

The second P, perseverance, refers to your ability to respond positively to setbacks you will surely experience in the change process.

The third P, patience, should be a constant reminder that change takes time and that if you maintain your commitment and persist and persevere, you will make the changes you want.

The Payoff

There is an immense payoff for your commitment and efforts at change: A life-altering shift in who you are and the direction that your life will take; maximizing performance and productivity; achieving your life goals. As a former client told me so poignantly: “I realized that I would never have to go back to the way I used to live my life, and I have never been so successful or happy!

by Jim Taylor, Ph.D – Psychology Today

1. Surveys in Britain and the U.S. show that people are no happier now than in the 1950s – despite massive economic growth.
2. Some societies are much happier than others. For example, if Britain was as happy as Denmark, we would have 2.5 million fewer people who were not very happy and 5 million more who were very happy.
3. Trust is a major determinant of happiness in a society. Levels of trust vary widely between countries. The percentage of people who say “Most people can be trusted” is only 30 per cent of people in the U.K. and U.S., compared to 60 per cent some 40 years ago. But in Scandinavia the level is still over 60 per cent, and these are the happiest countries too.
4. Economic stability has a large effect on the happiness of society, while long-term economic growth has little. Unemployment reduces happiness by as much as bereavement.
5. People’s happiness can be permanently altered. Surveys show that for many people long periods of unhappiness are followed by long periods of happiness.
6. The most important external factors affecting individual happiness are human relationships. In every society, family or other close relationships are the most important, followed by relationships at work and the community. The most important internal factor is mental health. For example, if we take 34 year olds, their mental health at age 26 explains four times more of their present happiness than their income does.
7. The subjective levels of happiness which people report are well correlated with objective measures of brain activity. They are well correlated with friends’ reports, with obvious causes (like unemployment) and with subsequent behaviour (like quitting a job or a marriage)
8. Doing good is one of the best ways to feel good. People who care more about others are happier than those who care less about others. When people do good, their brain becomes active in the same reward centre as where they experience other rewards.
9. Empathy is a part of our nature. If a friend suffers an electric shock, it hurts in exactly the same point of the brain as if you yourself suffer an electric shock.
10. Being paid can detract from the pleasure of giving. For example, if people interested in giving blood are divided into two groups, one of which is paid if they give blood and the other is not, more of those who arenotpaid decide to give blood.
11. Studies have shown that giving money away tends to make people happier than spending it on themselves.
12. The proportion of U.S.students who think that it is essential or very important to develop a meaningful philosophy of life has fallen from 65% in the 1960s to 45% today.
13. Surveys of mental health in many countries show no improvement and in some cases worsening. In Britain the proportion of adolescents with emotional or behavioural problems is twice as high as in the 1970s.
14. New psychological therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy can transform lives. Within 4 months a half of people suffering from clinical depression or lifelong anxiety will return to normality.
15. People who take 8 sessions of mindfulness meditation training will on average be 20 percentage points happier one month later than a control group and have better responses in their immune system. Such training can lead to structural brain changes including increased grey-matter density in the hippocampus, known to be important for learning and memory, and in structures associated with self-awareness, compassion and introspection.
16. In an experiment, individuals with a positive outlook were less likely to get flu when exposed to the virus.
17. Our happiness influences the people we know and the people they know. Research shows that the happiness of a close contact increases the chance of being happy by 15%. The happiness of a 2nd-degree contact (e.g. friend’s spouse) increases it by 10% and the happiness of a 3rd-degree contact (e.g. friend of a friend of a friend) by 6%.
18. Most people think that if they become successful, then they’ll be happy. But recent discoveries in psychology and neuroscience show that this formula is backward: happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we’re positive, our brains are more motivated, engaged, creative, energetic, resilient, and productive.
19. Positive emotions – like joy, interest, pride and gratitude – don’t just feel good in the moment – they also affect our long term well-being. Research shows that experiencing positive emotions in a 3-to-1 ratio to negative ones leads to a tipping point beyond which we naturally become more resilient to adversity and better able to achieve things. The evidence linking an upbeat outlook to increased longevity is actually stronger than the evidence linking obesity to reduced longevity.
20. Happiness follows a U shape across the lifecycle, on average: we are happier when young and old and least happy in middle age.

Source: http://www.actionforhappiness.org

In 1932 the mother superior of a Milwaukee convent asked each of her novices to write an essay on “Why I want to be a nun”. The essays were kept, and decades later a psychologist scored them for positive emotion. Amazingly that score turned out to be a powerful predictor of how long each nun would live.

So happiness is good for you. It is also what people want. Everyone wants to be happy, yet many are not. This has been the human condition for as long as anyone can remember – Samuel Beckett said that the tears of the world are a constant quantity. But what if the tears of the world are not so constant? What if it really is possible for individuals and whole societies to shape and boost their happiness?

This simple but extraordinarily powerful idea lies behind Action for Happiness – a movement for positive social change. We know that, as our society has become richer, our happiness has not risen in step. Despite ever greater affluence, our lives are increasingly stressful.

This paradox requires a radical rethink of our lifestyle and our goals. The rat race is not helping, because one person’s success is simply another person’s failure. We need a more cooperative society where people expect more satisfaction from what they give than from what they get. This means a profound change of culture. So Action for Happiness is intended as the focal point for a fundamental shift in cultural values.

We hope this will become a mass movement, eventually worldwide in scope. We are embracing the latest online and social networking ideas to bring together groups of like-minded people. As members we will each commit ourselves to trying to create more happiness in the world around us and less misery. This applies in our private lives, in how we are at work, and in what we do in the community – including the policies we ask policy-makers to adopt.

The resources available on our website aim to provide members with knowledge, ideas and inspiration about how to promote happiness within and without, and how to reduce suffering. We will encourage members to create a range of different groups focused on particular angles, like education or community action. The whole movement is empowered by the burgeoning new science of happiness, which explains a great deal about why some individuals and societies are happier than others.

We believe that a shift in societal values is possible, because there is a deep hunger out there for a better way of life, and because we now have enough knowledge about how to achieve it. Material wealth has failed to deliver the happier society that many expected. Since 1950 there have been regular surveys of the happiness of the population in Britain and the USA and these show that we are no happier now than we were then. Similarly surveys of British teenagers show that twice as many are emotionally disturbed as in the 1970s.

These changes are clearly linked to a growth of selfishness. People have been regularly asked “Do you think most other people can be trusted?” Fifty years ago 60% of people said Yes; today only 30%. For a happier society we have to turn this tide of narrow individualism – the greatest enemy of happiness is an unhealthy pre-occupation with self.

We can surely create a society in which people feel better inside themselves – where they are happier. Such a society has to start with individuals and their goals. But it also has to provide the external context in which all people can flourish – social justice means a world without excessive inequalities in happiness.

For our personal life, there is plenty of knowledge about how to live if you want to be happy. The New Economics Foundation recommend that every day you do 5 things – the spiritual equivalent of the 5 fruit and veg a day needed for physical health. These five activities spell GREAT – Giving, Relating to other people, Exercising the body, Appreciating the world around, and Trying out something new. On average people are happier the more they care about other people’s happiness and the less they care about their own. In this sense, happiness is a by-product – not by ignoring happiness but by focussing on the happiness of others.

Relationships are central to this, and it is tragic how, in our increasingly atomised society, many people never speak meaningfully to another person all day long. But we also need to exercise our bodies – we were not constructed to sit around all day. Appreciating the world around us means noticing and savouring whatever comes our way – the sights, the sounds, the touch – living more in the present than the future or the past. And exercising the mind by learning or trying out new activities is revitalising – almost anything can become absorbing and delightful.

These are secrets of positive living. The new positive psychology has put them onto a more scientific footing but they are also enshrined in much of the ancient wisdom. Many of these also taught forms of spiritual practice which many people find helpful. For example meditation is now spreading rapidly as a practice in our society. It is easy to see why. The American academic, Jon Kabat-Zinn, offered an 8-session course of meditation to employees of a Californian corporation. He divided applicants into a treatment group and a control group. Four months after the last session the treatment group had climbed 20 places out of 100 in the ranking of happiness compared with the control group.

‘Silent sitting’ is now used increasingly in schools, especially the so-called Values Schools. It improves not only happiness and behaviour, but also school performance. School leaders, in common with all others, find they benefit from the opportunity to collect themselves, and let go of the tyranny of unproductive thoughts and emotions.

When it comes to society, what changes are needed? Long-term economic growth must cease to be the be-all and end-all. Of course people care about their income, but they care about their income relative to other people. So if one person goes up, someone else goes down. This makes overall growth a false goal for a society.

What people do desperately want is a stable economy. There is almost no evil greater than unemployment, which reduces measured happiness as much as do bereavement or marital break-up. People hate loss more than they value gain, as was shown by Daniel Kahneman, the only psychologist to have won the Nobel Prize in Economics. So economic security is an enormously worthwhile goal, even if it reduces long-term economic growth.

For society as a whole, it does no good if we whip up ever fiercer competition and train our young to be consumers rather than citizens, eager for their rights, but less aware of their responsibilities and duties. Instead we should encourage our young people to get more satisfaction from what they can contribute to the lives of others.

The new challenge for government is to create the conditions for better human relationships – better education in life skills, better support for parents, better help with depression and crippling anxiety, and better communities.

Too many people are embarrassed to talk about happiness. When Tony Blair was told that one of the government’s goals for primary schools was that children should enjoy learning, he was horrified. This has to change.

Schools are our great opportunity as a society: the audience is (nearly) captive. Children want to be happy and to learn the secrets of happy living. A school ethos of mutual respect and consideration is essential, but so too is specific teaching of life skills.

We know from scientific trials that resilience can be taught in ways that dramatically reduce teenage depression and anxiety. To make this happen, 100 teachers from Manchester, Hertfordshire and Tyneside spent two weeks learning how to teach resilience from Martin Seligman and his colleagues at the fountain-head of positive psychology, the University of Pennsylvania. Using the basic concepts of cognitive behavioural therapy they have now taught some 4,000 British children with impressive results. The key of course is to develop the strengths of the individual and to concentrate on developing positive attitudes and pursuits.

Other trials show clearly that approaches of this kind do much more to reduce unhealthy living than programmes full of don’ts. Wellington College in Berkshire has pioneered the teaching of happiness and well-being: regarded as soft or irrelevant by critics, academic results have shot up since the new approach was adopted. Unhappy children don’t want to learn: happy ones do. Academic success and happiness are not mutually incompatible, they go hand in hand.

But even good, pro-social people will not necessarily make good parents. We need to teach the psychological aspects of parenting in secondary schools and in free ante-natal classes. For children a key issue is how their parents get on. So we should have free psychological help available for parents in conflict, if only for the sake of the children. An eleven year-old child in Liverpool, who was taught reconciliation techniques for his work as a playground monitor, applied them to his warring parents: for the first time in four months, they spoke kindly to each other.

If people have psychological problems, the help within most healthcare systems is disgracefully sporadic. In a recent survey of British family doctors, only 15% said they could usually get the standard psychological therapy recommended for those of their patients who need it by the government’s own National Institute of Clinical Excellence. A society focussed on happiness would not tolerate this discrimination against people with mental as opposed to physical illness. It is another illustration of our unwillingness to accept the reality of the inner life.

Most healthcare systems have been ‘illness services’ for far too long: they also need to promote ‘positive health’, drawing on the striking evidence that how happy or optimistic people are can be decisive in determining how fast they recover from heart disease and other conditions. Police forces are already having to address fear of crime as well as crime, and learning that this requires them to focus more attention on the quality of personal relationships in the community, and less on patrolling the streets in cars with flashing lights.

We can also improve our workplaces to produce more happiness at work. As the research shows, workers are happier, and no less productive, if they have more control over their work and are more involved in decisions about how it is organised. Team members flourish better if performance pay is based on the performance of the group rather than the rating of the individual; the latter divides rather than unites. Companies that look after their employees well, like the John Lewis Partnership, flourish in the market-place. So happiness is good business. And communities where people talk to each other and have more control are happier than places where they don’t.

An experiment in an old people’s home illustrates this nicely. Half the residents were given house plants which were tended by the staff, and the others were given plants they had to tend themselves. Remarkably, death rates in the second group were only half as high as in the first one.

What are the chances that politicians will listen in the current financial climate? Actually, not bad. In recent years the OECD, the club of rich nations, has held three big conferences on “What is progress?”. In France, President Sarkozy set up a Commission, including five Nobel Prize winners, to report on the same subject. High in the Himalayas, Bhutan has as its national goal not the GDP but Gross National Happiness – not so different from the Gross National Well-being advocated by David Cameron.

In the West, there has been more progress in Britain on the happiness agenda than in any other country – with Well-being divisions in many government departments and surveys of happiness at national and local levels. So the door is half-open. But it will take a massive push from citizens to bring about real change in priorities – another reason for setting up Action for Happiness.

This is not a new idea. It has ancient roots in Greek philosophy, Buddhism and Confucianism – not to mention the Golden Rule of Christianity. By the Eighteenth Century Enlightenment it was a common-place notion that the good society is one where there is the most happiness and the least misery. We need to return to this Enlightenment ideal, aided by modern science. That is why we have founded Action for Happiness as a movement for positive social change.

The time is ripe for a change in culture but so far we have lacked the catalyst to bring it about. There have been insufficient outlets for these feelings of dissatisfaction. Our movement will provide that focus – a way for like-minded people to improve the quality of their own lives and of those around them.

by: Richard Layard

It’s an irony of our modern lives that while technology is continually invented that saves us time, we use that time to do more and more things, and so our lives are more fast-paced and hectic than ever.

Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.

A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy your mornings, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It means taking time to enjoy whatever you’re doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever you’re talking to or spending time with — instead of always being connected to a Blackberry or iPhone or laptop, instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitude of tasks and focusing on none of them.

Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here’s how to do it.

1. Do less. It’s hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. Instead, make the conscious choice to do less. Focus on what’s really important, what really needs to be done, and let go of the rest. Put space between tasks and appointments, so you can move through your days at a more leisurely pace.

2. Be present. It’s not enough to just slow down — you need to actually be mindful of whatever you’re doing at the moment. That means, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that’s already happened, or something that might happen … gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on what’s going on right now. On your actions, on your environment, on others around you. This takes practice but is essential.

3. Disconnect. Don’t always be connected. If you carry around an iPhone or Blackberry or other mobile device, shut it off. Better yet, learn to leave it behind when possible. If you work on a computer most of the day, have times when you disconnect so you can focus on other things. Being connected all the time means we’re subject to interruptions, we’re constantly stressed about information coming in, we are at the mercy of the demands of others. It’s hard to slow down when you’re always checking new messages coming in.

4. Focus on people. Too often we spend time with friends and family, or meet with colleagues, and we’re not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. We are there, but our minds are on things we need to do. We listen, but we’re really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say. None of us are immune to this, but with conscious effort you can shut off the outside world and just be present with the person you’re with. This means that just a little time spent with your family and friends can go a long way — a much more effective use of your time, by the way. It means we really connect with people rather than just meeting with them.

5. Appreciate nature. Many of us are shut in our homes and offices and cars and trains most of the time, and rarely do we get the chance to go outside. And often even when people are outside, they’re talking on their cell phones. Instead, take the time to go outside and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. Exercise outdoors when you can, or find other outdoor activities to enjoy such as nature walks, hiking, swimming, etc. Feel the sensations of water and wind and earth against your skin. Try to do this daily — by yourself or with loved ones.

6. Eat slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible — leading to overeating and a lack of enjoyment of our food — learn to eat slowly. Be mindful of each bite. Appreciate the flavors and textures. Eating slowly has the double benefit of making you fuller on less food and making the food taste better. I suggest learning to eat more real food as well, with some great spices (instead of fat and salt and sugar and frying for flavor).

7. Drive slower. Speedy driving is a pretty prevalent habit in our fast-paced world, but it’s also responsible for a lot of traffic accidents, stress, and wasted fuel. Instead, make it a habit to slow down when you drive. Appreciate your surroundings. Make it a peaceful time to contemplate your life, and the things you’re passing. Driving will be more enjoyable, and much safer. You’ll use less fuel too.

8. Find pleasure in anything. This is related to being present, but taking it a step farther. Whatever you’re doing, be fully present … and also appreciate every aspect of it, and find the enjoyable aspects. For example, when washing dishes, instead of rushing through it as a boring chore to be finished quickly, really feel the sensations of the water, the suds, the dishes. It can really be an enjoyable task if you learn to see it that way. The same applies to other chores — washing the car, sweeping, dusting, laundry — and anything you do, actually. Life can be so much more enjoyable if you learn this simple habit.

9. Single-task. The opposite of multi-tasking. Focus on one thing at a time. When you feel the urge to switch to other tasks, pause, breathe, and pull yourself back.

10. Breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down. It’s also nice to take a deep breath or two — do it now and see what I mean.

Leo Babauta is a writer, a marathoner, an early riser, a vegan, and a father of six. He blogs regularly about achieving goals through daily habits on Zen Habits, and covers such topics as productivity, GTD, simplifying, frugality, parenting, happiness, motivation, exercise, eating healthy and more.

Read more about simplifying and focus in his book, The Power of Less.